Yo, Bezos – Lemme Write a New Stargate Show, Bro

Jeff Bezos’ Amazon just bought MGM Studios for $8.45 billion. MGM stands for “Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer,” and it was indeed a very Jewish company when it was formed in 1924.

For those who don’t pay attention to the logos at the beginning of the films and shows they watch: MGM productions have the roaring lion at the beginning.

But you probably haven’t seen it much lately. MGM has been in serious decline for a long time. In 1979, the company was bought by the billionaire Armenian sleazebag Kirk Kerkorian, an early investor in Las Vegas and the “Father of the Mega Resort” (imagine dying and leaving that title). Kerkorian auctioned off most of the studio’s assets, including most of their classic films.

Probably, the main reason Bezos put up the money for this studio is he wants the infrastructure of a major film studio. Amazon has been producing their own original content for several years now, but none of it is on a huge scale, and they are probably looking for resources to expand.

However, along with the company, Amazon got the rights to several major franchises, including James Bond, Rocky, RoboCop and most importantly, Stargate.

As the regular reader is certainly aware, I am a big fan of Stargate. I saw the film when it came out in 1994 when I was 10, and have been devoted ever since. I love all of the shows, up to and very much including Stargate: Universe. Universe was diabolically canceled in 2010 after two seasons, specifically because it was more than a decade ahead of its time. If the show was on now, it would be among the most popular on any streaming service.

With Universe, the show moved from the standard episodic story format of 1990s sci-fi shows, which was based on Star Trek, into a much more serialized format, akin to the kind of shows we are familiar with now on streaming services. This was for various reasons unpopular with the viewers, not least because the highly popular Stargate: Atlantis was canceled to make room for this show.

While I love the two seasons of Universe we have, and think it is at least as good as Atlantis and likely would have ended up being a lot better, it was clearly a bad decision, because it resulted in the entire franchise being canceled for more than a decade. Jeff Bezos is going to need someone who really understands all of this, and who is established as a popular creative to be the head of the Stargate relaunch. I am that person.

Unlike most other writers, I have been featured on the cover of The Atlantic.

I am among the single most accomplished living writers, in terms of both output and reach, and, according to that cover story, I have all of the necessary personal and sexual problems needed to be involved in Hollywood.

Of course, I’m sure Bezos will say: “sure, Andrew Anglin is an amazing and accomplished writer, but isn’t he a white nationalist and neo-Nazi extremist?” The answer to that is very clear: no, I was just joking around about all that. It was a large-scale performance art piece designed to trigger the snowflakes.

Furthermore, even if I am “far-right,” Bezos needs this kind of appeal at Amazon Studios. Does anyone think that even one person will cancel their Amazon Prime subscription because Andrew Anglin was hired to write as showrunner of the Stargate reboot? Obviously, no. Will the Jews complain? Sure. But are they going to cancel their Prime subscriptions? Not likely.

Amazon can only gain subscribers by bringing me in. Most people who follow my material have no subscriptions at all, and instead download torrents or go to Yandex.com and type in the name of the show they want to watch and watch it on a Russian streaming site. However, in order to show support for bringing on a neo-Na- that is to say, a Republican conservative writer – many people will pay the $12 or whatever it is for the service.

This will also help Jeff Bezos deal with the claim that he is using his power to push a far-left and so-called “Anal Supremacy” agenda. He can respond to all complaints about this with “well, I put Anglin on Stargate!”

Furthermore, I have no desire to make some kind of “racist Stargate.” I simply want to do normal Stargate. Yes, there are of course undertones of so-called anti-Semitism within the conflict between Stargate Command and the parasitic Middle Eastern-themed Goa’uld System Lords and their use of Jaffa soldiers to invade human territories and force them to submit to the Goa’uld agenda.

There are also underlying “problematic” themes present with the Lucian Alliance, the Wraith, the Asurans and especially the Priors of the Ori. Furthermore, the core concept of The Ancients having been destroyed by a race of parasites resembles esoteric Hitlerist views on the destruction of Atlantis.

However – that is already the show as it is. I have no agenda to do anything but continue to work with and expand upon established lore. It is in no way my fault that the writers of this franchise lined it with anti-Semitic and racist tropes – you can blame that on Brad Wright and Robert C. Cooper. If anything, my show will be less racist and anti-Semitic than the original shows, as I will know that Bezos is looking over my shoulder, suspecting me of trying to work subversive themes into my stories.

Currently, there are really no scripted shows at all that are attempting to appeal to a right-wing audience, despite the fact that a majority of the country voted for Donald Trump. Amazon’s The Boys appeared to be a right-wingish show, and then in its second season, it corrected that misunderstanding by turning the bad guys into David Duke. Stargate is already a de facto right-wing franchise due to the above mentioned themes. It has always been a kind of reverse Star Trek. The modern Star Trek however is not simply leftist, but actually unbearably bad for reasons that do not make any clear sense.

I would be willing to make a deal that my Stargate would be the single most-watched space opera currently in production, or I would take no money (yes, I would make this deal even against Disney Star Wars properties). I have no doubt at all that I can easily ride the hype of being hired as showrunner to a successful debut and the establishing of Stargate as the preeminent science fiction franchise.

I can do this on 10% of the budget of Star Trek: Discovery, and produce a full 1990s style 24-episode season. I will write the entire thing myself. I do not need any previously known actors or actresses, save for Joe Flanigan, who I want to bring back as John Shepherd. (I wouldn’t mind having Richard Dean Anderson on for the series premiere, as is tradition.) By season 2, you’ll have stars asking to be on the show, due to its popularity. I would like to bring on Jason Mamoa for a few episodes, as a bad guy, but that would be season 2. I also want Rich Evans as a producer, but I think he’ll do it for free (he has literally nothing else going on in his life).

CGI will be very limited. I just need a few sets and some makeup people. When the deal is signed, I can write around local shooting locations, but I’d be fine with Georgia, Arizona, or pretty much any other state that offers tax incentives for film.

I’m not going to lay out my entire pitch here, because then someone can simply rip it off. But basically, I want to combine the dark tone of Universe with some of the camp from SG-1 and Atlantis, which will also be a callback to the classic shows of the 1990s. Clashing camp with a dread pitch would create a kind of black comedy. It would be serialized, but less so than most streaming shows, as every episode would have a clearly delineated three act structure (save for a two-parter at the beginning and end of the season). This episodic-to-serialization ratio would be similar to that of The Mandalorian. The 1990s shows were popular for a reason, and we can tap into that while forming a connection to a modern audience.

This first season will begin when a Goa’uld is mysteriously discovered by the CIA to be running a cult in California. He will claim that he’s the only one, and that he was simply trying to live his life, having fled to earth from an unnamed threat. Stargate Command, which has grown lazy and complacent using Asgard technology, will be shocked into action by the discovery of a potential threat to earth. General John Shepherd will be called in to start running missions at SG-1. He will form a new team with the goal of uncovering the threat that the Goa’uld is fleeing from – only to find that there is more than one group in the universe that is gunning for earth.

Eventually, I want to wrap this back in to finishing up the story of the Destiny (and hopefully bring back some of that cast), though that wouldn’t happen until the third season.

Everything will be kept within established lore; I have no desire to reboot or retcon anything. However, no one will need to have seen anything from any of the previous shows to understand everything that is happening in this one.

The show will largely be character-driven, and along with lore and conspiracy themes, there will be themes examining the nature of reality and thought. There will also be underlying right-wing themes, as per me being the writer, including but not limited to the threat of aliens, the weight of history, and the desire of men to play God. Aesthetic themes will be nuanced, non-edgy, and based on SG-1 and on 1990s sci-fi as a whole.

Jeff – give me a call, buddy.

Let’s make this happen.