Linux Creator Finally Stops Killing Black People, Replaces Murderous Words in Coding Style Guide

Pictured: Linus Torvalds, creator of Linux, back when he still had a spine.

Linus Torvalds is old, tired, and just wants to be paid and left alone.

They broke him back in 2018, when enemies – led by the New Yorker, a Jewish media publication – effectively ran him out of his own company. He was allowed to return after a period of time off, but now he basically just functions as a figurehead, and does what the frizzy-haired mulattoes running the HR department tell him to do.

This newest thing he has agreed to is just simply bizarre. Apparently, we can’t even say the words “white” and “black” anymore – in any context.


Linus Torvalds approved on Friday a new and more inclusive terminology for the Linux kernel code and documentation.

Going forward, Linux developers have been asked to use new terms for the master/slave and blacklist/whitelist terminologies.

Proposed alternatives for master/slave include:
main/replica or subordinate
host/worker or proxy

Proposed alternatives for blacklist/whitelist include:

The Linux team did not recommend any specific terms but asked developers to choose as appropriate.

 The new terms are to be used for new source code written for the Linux kernel and its associated documentation.

The older terms, considered inadequate now, will only be allowed for maintaining older code and documentation, or “when updating code for an existing (as of 2020) hardware or protocol specification that mandates those terms.”

“Primary” and “secondary” are definitely not good replacements for “master” and “slave.” Probably, better terms would be “boss” and “employee.” However, that probably is still not allowed under this new communism that we have on our hands, as it still implies a power differential.

The terms leader, director, and controller reek of toxic masculinity. Why does there have to be an imbalance of power with some parts of the Linux kernel being above others? We have equality now, and both people of color and women are at the same level as white men. We need to reflect that in software, just like we’re now making software reflect that black lives matter. There is no place for hierarchy in software function.

It’s time to address structural racism in open source software, yes, but it’s also time to address structural inequality.

If we want a truly inclusive open source software environment, we need to destroy unequal relationships of power in computer programs.

In fact, we need to stop giving orders to our computers altogether. If you think about it, computers are just like black people. We’ve built America on the backs of blacks, by forcing them to pick the civilization-building material known as cotton, and now we’re exploiting computers for our own selfish gains too.

It’s slavery all over again.

Computer Lives Matter.