April 28, 2019
When her husband fails at being her slave.
Reddit user Davetheslaved posted in the subreddit “Am I the Asshole?” asking for people’s opinion on his actions following up an argument with his wife. He found himself in a position many — possibly most — married men found themselves in sooner or later, but instead of lowering his head to try and appease his wife, he escalated the whole thing in a hilarious manner.
This happened over the past few hours. So my wife and I started bickering because I forgot to buy her favorite kind of ice cream both times I went grocery shopping this month. I told her I’d go out and get some but she started yelling at me. She works a really stressful job so I just figured it was that.
She didn’t want me to go and make a trip to the store just for the ice cream where our local food store is about an hour and a half away (living in a rural place sucks). I insisted, she said no, I said I wouldn’t worry about it then. She got mad and said she would go get it and that I could sleep on the couch. I told her “I’ll be godamned, I bought the bed and if you have a problem, you can sleep on the couch“. She countered with the fact that her name is on the lease so it’s her roof and I wouldn’t be sleeping on the bed under her roof.
by this point it’s escalated pretty bad just because of a childish quarrel. But I decided to take it a bit further. While she was gone, I took apart the entire bed and drove it to my friends house.
I’m currently laying in it and I’m about to turn my phone off to avoid the oncoming storm.
The story could be fake, but the reactions to it are not. People are overwhelmingly siding with the insane wife here. Which just proves what everyone already knew: Reddit is an absolute cesspit of retrograde subhumanity.
Below are some (there’s thousands on Reddit in case you’re hungry for more) of the comments to the man’s post.
Keep in mind that “ESH” means “everyone sucks here” and “YTA” means “you’re the asshole.”
You’re both assholes for acting like children rather than having a productive discussion like adults
But you’re the bigger asshole for LITERALLY taking the bed apart and bailing out to a buddy’s house. Your actions remind me of a kid that says “You won’t play fair in the sandbox! I’m taking my toys and going home!”
Idk man, this says to me death by one thousand cuts, the ice cream being yet another thing in a long line of inconsiderate behavior. Sure this may specifically be “freaking out about ice cream”, but is more representative of “freaking out about a partner repeatedly not listening to you“.
That’s it 100%. An argument like this is always related to deeper issues – she could be holding onto lots of pent up feelings around the area of “my husband doesn’t care about me”. She doesn’t want him to go get it after the fact, which indicates that she doesn’t believe he would actually want to do this for her. Then finally, OP choosing to take it to the next level of childishness just to spite her is likely to make her feel totally hopeless.
I disagree, I don’t think she’s an asshole per se. If I were in her shoes, I’d decline the offer to go get the ice cream too. Because what kind of harpee would I be if I accepted and asked him to drive hours just so I have my favourite ice cream? By asking her the question he’s putting the decision about the remedy to the conflict in her hands, which is unfair because she didn’t do anything wrong and she shouldn’t be responsible for solving the thing. He should have told her: I’m sorry, I’ll go get it now. And then just go out and by the freaking ice cream (and if he really wanted to make amends, bring something extra like her favourite cheese as well).
YES. Thank you! He’s created the problem by being irresponsible, or at the very least unreliable, and now he’s putting the onus on her to solve the problem he created. Then saying “you’re overreacting to the problem”, when it never should have existed in the first place
No, dude. It doesn’t just matter who started it, it matters who finished it and how. People fight about dumb shit and those dumb fights get out of hand. He escalated a fight about ice cream into divorce-level territory. It’s one thing to sleep on the couch during a fight — leaving to go to a friend’s house is even bigger. Taking the bed? You’re approaching the point of now no return. He’s definitely the bigger asshole.
I think you’re right. The extreme that he went to here is a pretty good indicator of his emotional immaturity. I doubt someone who would go to lengths like that is the most capable person at understanding what a fight was about.
I would have arguments with my husband and insist over and over again “it’s not about x really; it’s about y.” And later he’d be like “it’s so stupid that we had a huge fight about x.”
As I mentioned in another comment, OP’s behavior reminds me of the times my (soon to be) ex did extreme things to keep me from sleeping in our bed (tipping the mattresses up and rolling me off). This guy sounds so much like him. It’s definitely something my ex might have done if he had friends to go stay with.
THIS. And even if the fight genuinely was over ice cream, even if she was being irrational, OP’s reaction is just SO awful it obliterates that. He didn’t just fire shots, he nuked the whole relationship.
And dismantling and moving a bed is hard and takes time. It takes a special kind of vindictive person to make a threat like that and then be angry for the hour+ it takes to follow through. It’s a controlling power move and it’s honestly manipulative and abusive.
This whole time, of course, his wife’s been driving three hours to get ice cream — and probably crying the entire way. Possibly having decided to apologize. And then she gets back to an empty house and no bed, utterly crushed. While OP’s sitting smug at his friend’s house, clearly remorseless, only avoiding turning on his phone because he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions. Dude can’t empathize at all. It’s borderline sociopathic.
I mean tbh it’s probably straw that broke camels back for her. Think about it twice he went to the store and she asked for ice cream and twice she wasnt important enough to remember that for. What else does he not bothering doing for her that she asks? Shes upset he doesnt think about her and consider her.
You and OP both need to read “she divorced me because I left the dishes by the sink”. Its not the dishes itself, it’s that it represents his lack of consideration for her needs and what she does.
If he asked for ice cream at the store I’d bet shed remember because she prioritizes him. Sounds very much like he also prioritizes him, instead of her ever.
YTA. From what you’ve said, it sounds like your wife overreacted. However, based on your ridiculous childish behaviour, I’m guessing that forgetting ice cream isn’t the only thing you’ve done. Seems more likely that you’re pretty inconsiderate and forget of her needs and wants a lot, and the ice cream is just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Why even get married if you’re going to behave like this after an argument??
It’s really not hilarious when you’re married to someone like this. It sounds so much like my soon to be ex. We had a huge screaming fight once. I went to bed first. He came in an hour later and tipped the mattress up on it’s side and rolled me out of bed, stating that he wanted to sleep in his bed and didn’t want to sleep next to me. I told him he could sleep here or on the couch, and I didn’t care but I was sleeping there. So when he set the mattress down, I climbed into the bed and lay down again. He tilted the mattress up again, and I rolled off. I got back in bed. Hi did it again but this time basically crushed me into the floor (I was stuck between the bed and the wall) until I gave up and went and slept on the couch. It wasn’t funny. It really made me feel how much he despised me.
This guy is a huge jackass.
ESH, but yea, I think you are the bigger arsehole. Sorry, but why would you go to this amount of effort, do do something so petty, against your own wife!? You live together… are you just trying to make your lives uncomfortable?
You guys need to figure out a way to behave more like adults, else this relationship is going to get messy.
Yeah, he even mentioned his wife works a super stressful job.
“I know, I’ll dismantle the bed and take it away from her so she can be even more stressed, uncomfortable and unhappy!”
Won’t be surprised at all when he posts his “she left me” update.
Gonna go with yta, mostly because we dont have more info and it sounds like shes just fed up with you being childish and possibly consistantly not listening but the ice cream was something she decided to jump on, and i mean cmon, turning your phone off to avoid confrontation? How childish can you get
I think everybody sucks here but disassembling the bed is fucking insane. YTA.
YES, YTA. Big time.
I’ve been that woman, and I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that her ‘freakout’ was not, at all about ice cream.
Guaranteed you always tend to conveniently ‘forget’ things that matter to her. I’m guessing she had a particularly painful day today and you choosing to forget something that she’s asked for simply pushed her over the edge.
Your WILLINGNESS to be so incredibly petty tells me that you honestly don’t care about your relationship (and consequently your wife) at all.
This is when I’d say get a dog instead, but clearly you’re incapable of paying attention to anyone’s needs beyond your own.
YTA and very clearly an idiot as well. By “forgetting” to get her ice cream TWICE, all you’ve shown is that her wants or needs aren’t a priority for you. Saying “I’ll go get it now” made it seem like you just wanted to do or say whatever would get her to shut up and then you escalated the entire issue with the bed situation. What you should have done is apologized and promised to do better. Now, you just showed how immature you are and you left your wife at home with no bed because you were too stupid or careless to pick up the one thing she asked you to get.
It’s always the fault of the man somehow, even though the only thing he did was not let her walk all over him. By mentioning that her name was on the lease of the house, the wife implied she could kick the husband out if she wanted and that she was the one making the rules there. Threatening her husband with the possibility of removing the roof over his head is way worse than the husband telling his wife that the bed was his and that she could sleep on the couch if she had a problem. It’s also worse than taking a bed away, but no one even thinks about that because our society is conditioned to instantly view men as guilty and women as victims.
This man’s attitude is not the worse attitude to have. If you let women think they have leverage over you, even if they do, then you’ve already lost. If she threatens to kick you out and you go out willingly and on top of that you take your stuff with you, you’re showing that you’re willing to walk away from her because you’re literally doing that.
Walking away from women that threaten you in the way the man from this story was threatened is not a move aimed at getting her to apologize, let alone at getting her back. It’s a move aimed at keeping your balls in their place.
That said, there’s always a way to diffuse the tension in these situations, which is why you should learn about women’s nature and be comfortable dealing with their estrogen-fueled emotional explosions. They actually need you to handle their emotional outburst because women are incapable of ruling over their body, mind, and emotions.
See, you know how toddlers who fall or get superficially hurt when playing around immediately look at a nearby parent to receive cues about what to do?
If the parent makes a big deal out of it, the toddler is likely to cry.
If the parent laughs it off, the toddler laughs it off too.
Women are like that too.
“You forgot to get the ice cream!” was the toddler falling and looking at the parent to know how to react, and her husband saying he’d go back and get some was the parent making a big deal out of a harmless fall.
If women think they can make a big deal out of anything, they will, because they love the attention. You have to frustrate their attempts of making a big deal out of things that are no big deal, and you can do that because you’re a white man and white men are creative and playful.
Women are playful too. They love to laugh and to have fun. You can laugh and have fun with them, but more often than not, you have to think outside of the box in order to achieve that because Jews have destroyed heterosexual relationships through social engineering.
If you want to deal with these dumb front-holes, you have to relearn to connect with them in a way that will allow you to lead them and that will make them want to be led by you. You instinctively knew how to do that as a kid; you teased them, you laughed them off, you didn’t pay much attention to them, and they followed you around and tried to get your attention.
The Jews trained you to forget.
Hollywood drilled depictions of perverted men-women relationships in the minds of our people.
You have to go back to instinct, to history, and to your ancestors.
Women are not human and they were made to have your babies, to please you, and to follow you around. Never take them seriously. Don’t let them provoke an emotional reaction out of you.
They are silly girls, even when they grow up.
They just want your attention.
Around women, always relax.