Water on Mars, baby.
Several liquid bodies have been found under the south pole of Mars, according to a major new study.
The findings give extra credence to previous research that suggested there could be a large saltwater lake underneath the Martian surface, the researchers claim – and also led to them discovering a number of other wet areas.
The findings could be key in the search for alien life on the planet, the researchers note, given life as we know it requires liquid water to survive.
They will also be key to “planetary protection” work that ensures that humanity doesn’t contaminate other planets with life from Earth during missions to explore them.
The researchers call for future work to better examine Mars, its chemistry – and whether there might be any traces of what they call “astrobiological activity”, or alien life.
The discovery was made using MARSIS, or the Mars Advanced Radar for Subsurface and Ionosphere Sounding, which is onboard the Mars Express spacecraft sent by the European Space Agency to orbit around Mars.
This means when we send a spaceship full of cop-killing Black Lives Matter activists, fat women, Islamic jihadists and trannies to Mars, they won’t die of thirst.
We are right on course for the science fiction future we were all promised.
We are almost ready to start the Mars colony.
We just need to clean up a few things first, namely, we need to:
- Abolish the police
- Ensure that high school girls have access to partial birth abortions
- Transfer the rest of the population of Somalia to Minnesota
- Overthrow the government of Belarus so they can have democracy
- Stop the coronavirus
- End cash bail
- Get Tucker Carlson fired from Fox News by bullying his advertisers with boycotts
- Ensure that preschool babies have the option of choosing their own gender
- Advance penis removal surgery for trannies
- Everyone in Africa has to have gay anal sex
- The governments of Africa all have to be run by women
- Stop Russia from hacking our democracy
- People have to eat bugs to prevent the weather from changing
- Make sure that men finally accept that women are healthy at any size and obese women are sexy
- Teach Islamic prayer rituals to elementary school children
- Ensure that women are not required to ever prevent evidence when accusing men of rape
- Ban flavored vape juice
- Replace all the CEOs with blacks
- Legalize fentanyl and set up government centers to pass out needles
- Get Justice for George Floyd
Once we take care of these nagging issues of basic human rights and civil rights, we’ll then be ready for the next step in progress, which is Mars colonization.
Diversity is our greatest strength, so it will be much easier to design the technologies needed for Mars colonization once white men have been replaced with fat women, trannies and Somalians.
Let’s just hope we don’t run into any sexism when we get there.
Like, for example, some shirtless bimbo with a size zero waist (low self-esteem because of the patriarchy) being carried around by a jacked cis heteronormative privileged white male with a sword.