March 17, 2020
People from all over the world instinctively know that in the post-apocalyptic landscape that will follow the coronavirus outbreak, he who holds the toilet paper will make the rules.
Supermarket bosses launched a plea for calm among shoppers yesterday after a wave of panic-buying around the country cleared shelves as people stockpiled for the expected coronavirus epidemic.
The chaotic scenes, with people scrabbling to load up with loo rolls, long-life milk and pasta, have led to rationing by the major shop chains – and triggered alarm in No 10.
The issue has been high on the agenda of Boris Johnson’s COBRA emergency meetings on the crisis, with the Army being readied as a contingency to guard supermarkets and secure food convoys.
More than one third of shoppers have said they are stockpiling produce.
The British Retail Consortium (BRC), which represents most of Britain’s supermarkets, said the rise in demand for certain products was ‘unprecedented outside of the Christmas period’, with the difference that it was focused mainly on ‘hygiene and longer shelf-life food products’.
The rampage has led to extraordinary scenes such as the man from Bath who was pictured wearing a combat-style hazmat suit while carrying 27 toilet rolls out of a shop.
A 56-year-old shopper was mugged for his toilet paper just moments after leaving a store in London as panic about the coronavirus epidemic leads to wide-spread stockpiling.
Dinendra was leaving a Savers store in Harringay, north London, around 3.30pm when someone ran up behind him and snatched one of the two toilet rolls he was carrying.
He was left shaken after the broad-daylight attack and lodged a report with the police – but insists ‘it’s not the value of the toilet roll, its the principle‘.
Dinendra – who only went into the story to buy toilet paper – said: ‘I went to my local savers and bought two packs of toilet rolls. Someone came up from behind and stole one packet in broad daylight.
‘I was shaken and shocked. Is that what we have come to? Its not the value of the toilet roll, its the principle. I’m concerned about the vulnerable people, the elderly. In terms of their health and their emotions as well.’
You have to understand something:
Everyone who isn’t already dead will die soon.
No amount of toilet paper will save you.
There’s been reports of people who survived the infection testing positive again.
Even if you survive the virus ten times, Corona can just keep trying.
Even if a vaccine is developed, Corona can just keep mutating.
There is no escape.