February 26, 2020
“Trust me, I’m a
doctor police officer.”
I’m so happy that the United Kingdom has finally started to address all of its problems in the proper manner.
Things will definitely work out from now on.
Police are giving heroin to the worst addicts to stop them committing crimes.
Cleveland Police in Middlesbrough, which has the highest rate of drug-related deaths in Britain, spent more than £11,000 on diamorphine to give to 11 of the district’s most entrenched addicts.
That’s a small price to pay for the well-being of the oppressed People of Addict.
None of the 11 addicts who injected themselves with diamorphine under supervision for the project had re-offended in the 15 weeks since the scheme was launched.
One addict called the scheme, which started in October, ‘the chance of a lifetime’.
Addicts’ opinions about the object of their addiction are very valid and relevant, yes.
One woman is now looking at entering rehab and one participant is reducing his diamorphine intake.
The addicts have also put on weight and look healthier and can begin to address the cause of their addiction now they are not looking for street heroin and committing crime to pay for it.
What an entrepreneurial woman. She’ll definitely think the same once the supply stops.
It’s a self-evident fact that addicts need to indulge in their addiction in order to fight their addiction.
Cleveland police and crime commissioner Barry Coppinger said the 11 participants had committed more than 900 detected crimes and their offending had cost the taxpayer £3.7 million, using an official calculation method.
Mr Coppinger hoped to expand the scheme to other areas using money seized from criminals.
He said: “It’s my intention to use funding seized under the Proceeds of Crime Act to go back into our communities, to repair the harm that the illegal drug trade has wrought not only to those on the programme, but to our entire society.”
Clinical lead Danny Ahmed said: “Evidence from countries like Canada and Switzerland told us that heroin assisted treatment could work here in Middlesbrough, but I continue to be impressed with overwhelming change in our participants in such a short time frame.
“The majority of these individuals have battled addiction for decades and they are finally able to lift their head out of the daily struggle of substance use and look forward to living life.”
Also coming soon to a news outlet near you:
Police to Give Money to Blacks to Stop Them from Stealing
Oh, wait. We’re already kind of doing that through welfare and the exploitative but strategic taxation of productive people.
But that’s not quite working out for the West.
So the headline would most likely look more like this:
Police to Give iPhones to Blacks to Stop Them from Stealing
Police giving people the stuff they may want to steal is a genius crime prevention strategy, brought to you by Progress.
Some people, like addicts, will steal anything to buy their drugs.
But they won’t steal if they already have their drugs.
This is what everyone’s been asking for: addressing the root cause.
Next, we have to start giving morphine to unhappy people in order to make them euphorically happy.
This will prevent all of the unhappiness-related problems such as suicide, depression, suboptimal efficiency at work, and the like, and the transgender peoples of the world will finally stop killing themselves before they can molest enough kids.