December 18, 2017
At first I thought she had a beard, like many fat women tend to get, but it’s just a tattoo…
Someone remind me again – what are the arguments against eugenics?
Oh right, I forgot – “Because it’s mean!”
Grieving Debra Parsons will have her mum Doreen for Christmas dinner this year – by scattering her ashes on the turkey then tucking in.
And for dessert she’ll enjoy Christmas Pud…with a dusting of her mum’s last remains too.
Debra, 41, has felt the urge to EAT Doreen’s ashes since she died in May and has had a small spoonful most days to feel “as close as possible” to her.
But as she faces Christmas without her, the craving has become even stronger.
“It is the only thing that will get me through my first Christmas without mum,” said Debra.
Your mother must be rolling in her gra… I mean, your stomach.
“People might think I’m mad or that it’s not a very respectful thing to do but I just can’t stop myself.
“I see it as a positive thing – allowing her to be close to me and also involving her in the family day.
“I feel like she can live on by being inside of me because if she is part of me she can breathe through my body. My breath is her breath.
How is that even supposed to work???
ASHES DON’T BREATHE!
Doreen Brown died suddenly from an airway obstruction after suffering a chest infection in May.
It was yet another tragedy for mum-of-two Debra, who lost a son at Christmas 1996 when he was born prematurely.
She has struggled for years to cope with her grief – but when Doreen passed away she plunged to an all-time low.
“My mum and I had a really strong bond and one which could never be broken, even by death,” Debra said.
“She has been the one who has helped me through all the other ups and downs of my life and then suddenly she just wasn’t there any more.
She obviously didn’t do a very good job, or else you wouldn’t be obese, covered in clown tattoos and eating her fucking ashes!
After the funeral and cremation Debra began to think what she would do with Doreen’s ashes – but rejected the traditional idea of scattering them at a beauty spot her mum loved.
Who needs silly traditions in CURRENT YEAR?
“I decided I wanted to do something with her ashes that would make a difference to how we remembered her. I didn’t want to just scatter them because that would feel like throwing her away.”
As opposed to flushing her down the toilet after a brief stint in your intestines…
Two months later, one of Debra’s two sisters, who are unaware of her unorthodox ritual, delivered her share of the ashes to her home.
“At first I kept them in a plastic sandwich bag.
A PLASTIC SANDWICH BAG!!!
THE ULTIMATE SHOW OF AFFECTION FROM A LARDBEAST!!!
“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I’M PUTTING YOU NEXT TO THE THING I EAT BETWEEN THIRD BREAKFAST AND FIRST LUNCH!!!”
“I wanted to be with them all the time so I had them by my bed or with me around the house.
“Then I got a little box for them so I could have them on display but no matter what I did I just couldn’t get that feeling of closeness.” But one day – when she was missing her mum more than usual – Debra had a moment of inspiration.
“I don’t know what made me do it the first time – it was just an urge. I can’t describe it.
It’s called being retarded, you disgusting sow.
“I opened the box and licked my fingers and just dipped them into the powder.
“Before I knew what I was doing they were in my mouth and the chalky, salty taste was comforting. I felt confused by what I had done to begin with but the feeling of comfort and closeness it brought was the first bit of solace I’d had since her death.”
“I have a problem. Better stick it in my mouth and eat it immediately.” -Every fatass in the world
I hate fat people, especially the ones who eat their dead relatives.
Each day, Debra’s urge to eat her mum’s ashes became harder to resist.
And as Christmas nears, she is planning to take her secret to the next level. She added: “I have been having a little taste most days – sometimes on my finger or on a little spoon.
How is this a “secret”? You went to the media with your picture and full name and told everybody everything about it!
Debra’s fiancé – who we have agreed not to name – has supported her through her grief and they plan to marry next year.
“I am lucky that my loved ones understand what I am doing,” said Debra, of Folkestone, Kent.
There’s a man somewhere actually sticking his dick in this thing!
I really hope this is some nigger or paki or something.
I hope our race hasn’t degenerated to the point where a White man is actually touching this thing with anything other than a stick.
Because if it did, then we have a lot of problems…
I’m gonna go get drunk and watch moe anime now.
It’s the only way to stay sane until the race war starts.
Yes… Yes they are.