November 17, 2019
The Animal Kingdom is at war with the Demon Kingdom. In India, small monkeys are doing their best to fight back against the Curry Fiend faction, and now a new battlefront has been opened in Uganda.
Chimpanzees, despite their small numbers, are bravely facing the Infinity Nigger threat closing in on their habitat.
Chimpanzees may seem like friendly, cuddly creatures. But they can pose a serious threat to humans – as villagers are finding out in a virtual war with the animals.
A full-grown chimp can have up to five times the upper body strength of a man, says Dutch primatologist Frans de Waal: “People watch pro wrestlers on TV and think they are strong. But a pro wrestler would not be able to hold a chimpanzee still if they wanted to.
“Chimpanzee males have been measured as having five times the arm strength as a human male. Even a young chimpanzee of four or five years, you could not hold it still if you wanted to.”
He says that along with being powerful, they can be vicious: “They can show tremendous mutilation. They go for the face; they go for the hands and feet; they go for the testicles. To outsiders, they have very nasty behaviours.”
For a long time, the sheer power of chimpanzees was not a threat to humans, because the surprisingly intelligent animals were largely afraid of us and would hide rather than fight.
But now, with human settlements going and becoming ever closer to the chimps’ territories, that fear is disappearing. To be replaced by naked aggression – a virtual war has broken out in Uganda as the chimps have begun to push back at human expansion.
In other words, this is like that movie 300.
Chimpanzees are the Spartans and blacks are the Persians.
Chimpanzee defending its habitat against a random black.
The Infinity Nigger army.
If it weren’t for the white man’s tools and weapons, chimpanzees would swiftly defeat the blacks in combat. They may even be able to outmaneuver and outsmart the blacks despite blacks having advanced weaponry if only white people stayed out of it and avoided giving any kind of guidance or advice to the blacks.
The animals, which have been known to use sticks and stones as weapons, particularly target children in their attacks.
Two-year-old Mujuni Semata was snatched by an adult male chimpanzee while the family were in their garden together and torn apart before his distraught parents could rescue him.
Smart chimpanzees are taking care of future threats before they become actual threats while also demoralizing the enemy.
Smart chimpanzee using a stick spear and a stone shield.
I’m telling you, if white people sit this one out, odds are the chimpanzees will be victorious.
Attacks by chimps on human infants have continued, with at least three fatalities and half a dozen injuries or narrow escapes in the Muhororo area over the past few years.
In 2017, a toddler named Maculate Rukundo was snatched by chimps in the same area as her mum worked in the fields. She gave chase but backed off when she was faced with a whole troop of menacing chimpanzees.
By the time she returned with some of her fellow villagers Maculate lay dead in a pool of blood with her intestines spilling onto the ground where the animals had torn her belly open with their teeth.
There are countless other examples – babies and small children taken from their homes and killed or left with grievous injuries.
In one case, a father tried to prevent his child being snatched and had two fingers bitten off.
One notorious chimpanzee “serial killer” – nicknamed Saddam by fearful locals – was responsible for the deaths of at least seven babies.
He would tear open their bellies and eat parts of their intestines before discarding the bodies.
Saddam was eventually surrounded by hunters and shot to death at the scene of his final kill – the slaying of an 18-month-old girl.
Chimpanzees are protected by law in Uganda. It’s illegal to hunt or kill them, whether they are in a reserve or living wild in a forest.
Occasionally permission is given to destroy rogue males such as Saddam but there is evidence that locals frequently take the law into their own hands. Bodies of chimps showing signs of attack with spears and clubs are often found decomposing in the Ugandan forest.
This war is by no means one-sided.
British primatologist Matt McLennan tried to study the chimps in the area, to understand how the conflict between man and ape had arisen: “We found out pretty quickly that they didn’t like people inside the forest,” he told National Geographic. “Their strategy was to try to intimidate us. Which they did very effectively.”
McLennan found that the chimpanzees had lost their fear of humans as the forest had been cleared, and begun to react with the same kind of aggression as they would with a rival troop of chimps.
That’s the thing with the Infinity Nigger army though. They can’t stay out of the chimpanzees’ forest and they can’t stay out of others’ land because they’re an ever-expanding, ever-reproducing plague that needs resources while at the same time being unable to generate resources, so it eats and eats and eats and eats and eats until there’s nothing more to eat.
After they’ve eaten everything in the planet and there’s nothing else to eat, they’ll eat themselves, completing their cycle of destruction.