Triumph Over Anus: Taliban Moving to Isolate Kabul, Will Soon Take the City

My only problem with the Taliban is that instead of listening to AC/DC when they rape and pillage, they listen to weird stringed instruments and chants.

But I guess it’s the same energy.

New York Post:

The Taliban seized a province just south of Afghanistan’s capital and launched a multi-pronged assault early Saturday on a major city in the north defended by powerful former warlords, Afghan officials said.

The insurgents have captured much of northern, western and southern Afghanistan in a breakneck offensive less than three weeks before the United States is set to withdraw its last troops, raising fears of a full militant takeover or another Afghan civil war.

The Taliban captured all of Logar province, detained its provincial officials and reached a district in the neighboring Kabul province on Saturday, said Hoda Ahmadi, a lawmaker from Logar. That puts the insurgents less than 80 kilometers (50 miles) south of Kabul, the nation’s capital.

The Taliban also attacked the northern city of Mazar-e-Sharif from several directions, setting off heavy fighting on its outskirts, according to Munir Ahmad Farhad, a spokesman for the provincial governor. There was no immediate word on casualties.

Afghan President Ashraf Ghani had flown to Mazar-e-Sharif on Wednesday to rally the city’s defenses, meeting with several militia commanders, including Abdul Rashid Dostum and Ata Mohammad Noor, who command thousands of fighters.

If what’s happened thus far is any indication, approximately 100% of those fighters will immediately surrender and join the Taliban.

The Pentagon is for whatever reason acting confused. I have a hard time believing this situation actually confuses them, but maybe they’re even dumber than we thought. They could well be high on their own supply, having bought into the bizarre delusion that these cave people were actually digging the vibes of their anal-feminist agenda.

New York Post:

Taliban fighters are “trying to isolate” Afghanistan’s capital city, the Pentagon said Friday — amid fears that they could attack Kabul within days.

A blitz by the Islamic extremists led to the capture of four provincial capitals Friday, with Pul-e-Alam, the capital of Loghar province, the latest to fall.

That move put the Taliban just 30 miles away from Kabul, where the first elements of a US Marine Corps battalion landed to aid in evacuation efforts.

“Kabul is not right now in an imminent threat environment, but clearly…if you just look at what the Taliban has been doing, you can see that they are trying to isolate Kabul,” Pentagon spokesman John Kirby said during a news briefing.

Concern is mounting that the Taliban could move against Kabul within days, a US defense official told Reuters.

Resistance from Afghan forces collapsed amid Taliban gains that included seizing Kandahar and Herat — the country’s second- and third-largest cities, respectively — with individual soldiers, military units and even entire divisions surrendering to the insurgents.

It’s not clear if they are actually “surrendering” or just defecting.

It seems to me that they are likely defecting, but that the Pentagon and Jewish media would prefer to frame it as surrender.

It’s difficult to ever get to the truth these days, you know.

The Post is even suggesting that the US troops should stay there to protect the innocents.

This is the same narrative that leftist papers like The Guardian are pushing.

“The US military is a force of good in the world and must fight to defend the sacred ritual of the vagina and the holy anal rimming.”

But why is no one in Afghanistan wearing a virus mask???

The Guardian:

US troops have begun arriving in Afghanistan to help evacuate thousands of people, including embassy staff, and Afghans and their families who worked for them as a sweeping Taliban offensive draws ever nearer to Kabul.

Diplomats and nationals from a host of western countries are scrambling to leave the capital, with insurgent fighters now camped just 50km (30 miles) away after a campaign that has seen provincial capitals swiftly fall.

On Saturday, the Taliban launched a multi-pronged assault on Mazar-i-Sharif, a major city in northern Afghanistan defended by powerful former warlords, according to Munir Ahmad Farhad, a spokesman for the provincial governor in Balkh province. There was no immediate word on casualties.

President Ashraf Ghani had flown to the city on Wednesday to rally its defences, meeting several militia commanders allied with the government.

He will deliver a televised address, his first public remarks since the Taliban made major gains in recent days, on Saturday.

In Kabul, US embassy staff have been ordered to begin shredding and burning sensitive material, as units from a planned re-deployment of 3,000 American troops started arriving to secure the airport and oversee the evacuations. Pentagon spokesman John Kirby said “elements” of a battalion were now in Kabul, the vanguard of three Marine and Army battalions that the US was sending to the city.

Kirby said that most of the troops would be in place by Sunday and “will be able to move thousands per day” out of Afghanistan. “Capacity is not going to be a problem,” he said.

Run, swine!

You lost!

Afghanistan rejects your matriarchy and your poop-licking!

Get out!

And don’t come back!

What is the Angle Here?

I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out the angle on this deal.

Why are the Democrats engaging in this humiliating surrender, admitting the absolute defeat of their feminist and anus-licking agenda?

Well, they’re going to push a lot of immigrants.

But probably not relevant numbers, in comparison to their other immigrant pushes.

After having really spent a lot of time thinking about it, the most likely explanation here is that the US forces are simply spread too thin, and that there really is no benefit to them in continuing to occupy Afghanistan. They would do it, simply to squander resources and waste energy, if there was nothing else going on.

But there is something else going on – namely Russia, China and Iran.

So basically: I think they’re pulling out of Afghanistan in order to get ready for a big push against either China or Russia.

Maybe someone can think of a better explanation, but I can’t.