April 20, 2016
Instead of “In God We Trust,” the new $20 bill will feature the inscription “U aint no me, muffugguh, Sheeeeeeiiiit.”
Andrew Jackson, one of the most badass White men to ever step foot in the New World, is being removed from the $20 bill to be replaced by a female talking monkey.
The Treasury Department will announce on Wednesday afternoon that Harriet Tubman, an African-American who ferried hundreds of slaves to freedom, will replace the slaveholding Andrew Jackson on the center of a new $20 note, according to a Treasury official, while newly popular Alexander Hamilton will remain on the face of the $10 bill.
Other depictions of women and civil rights leaders will also be part of new currency designs.
The new designs, from the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, would be made public in 2020 in time for the centennial of woman’s suffrage and the 19th Amendment to the Constitution. None of the bills, including a new $5 note, would reach circulation until the next decade.
It was unclear whether details of the unexpectedly sweeping changes would win over some women’s groups, who had sharply criticized Treasury Secretary Jacob J. Lew for reneging on his 10-month-old commitment to put a woman on the face of the $10 bill, which is the one currently in line for an anti-counterfeiting makeover.
Allegedly, they won’t introduce it until 2030.
So we need to fix these problems by then. That is the revolutionary deadline. If they seriously put this monkey on our money, it’s officially over.
Andrew Jackson was the best guy. He crushed the Jew bank.
Actually, the deadline is a lot sooner than that. We need to get it together. You all need to be devoting significant parts of your week to spreading the message. I need to talk more about this. Do it on social media, do it in comments sections, maximize it. We are gaining huge traction, but we could be gaining a lot more if people developed stringent schedules for spreading propaganda.
Who is Harriet Tubman?
Harriet Tubman is an actual monkey who was taught to talk by Benjamin Franklin when he was high on cocaine and thought it would be funny.
Turns out, it wasn’t funny.
It wasn’t funny at all.
Once possessing the ability for human speech, Tubman fomented a terroristic revolution which came to be known as “The Banana Bonanza.”
If it were not for the heroic actions of Davy Crockett and Pat Boone, who led a group of skinheads to put down the The Banana Bonanza using outrageous, genocidal tactics, Tubman would have established a Planet of the Apes style dictatorship in America.
The talking monkey Tubman was considered the worst terrorist ever until 2007, when communist Jews began telling college students she was a hero of social justice.