Taiwan Hosts This Year’s Biggest Anal Pride Parade

Some people don’t understand why we are constantly talking about going to war with the Chinese to protect Taiwan.

“What the heck does Taiwan have to do with anything, and why would I care about this?” many Americans have asked.

Well, here you have your answer.

Taiwan is a full-anal nation. Conversely, China represses anal behavior.

This is the slogan upon which the United States was founded: “We must secure the existence of Chinese anal and a future for gay blowjobs in China.”

That is a direct quote from George Washington when he was asked why he was creating a country called “America.”

These are our values.


Taipei on Saturday hosted one of the world’s biggest gay pride parades this year at a time when most countries have canceled the marches due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Around 130,000 people marched through the city in the vivid and exciting annual LGBT pride parade calling for greater understanding and acceptance of LGBT people, according to the organizers.

The marchers brandished rainbow flags and sported flamboyant costumes as the 18th Taiwan LGBT Pride Parade, one of the largest in Asia, was launched from Taipei City Hall Plaza and moved into two routes traveling into neighboring roads and streets and finally back to the plaza.

The parade stepped off with two giant rainbow flags that took 70 people to carry. The participants danced to the beat of the floats they were following as they pumped out electronic dance music.

The attendance was down by nearly half from a record 200,000 people last year, when Taiwan became the first Asian country to legalize same-sex marriage.

Remember that democracy is about our values, and that is who we are.

The American revolution started because a British soldier working for the king told a Chinese man that he wasn’t allowed to do gay anal in the street in Boston.

After Thomas Jefferson heard that the British were cockblocking gay Chinese anal in Boston, he began writing the Declaration of Independence.

That famous founding American document began:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a Chinese man is endowed by Allah with the freedom to do gay anal in the streets, and to dance around talking about how he loves to do anal on men.”

Those have always been our values.

This is why we fight:

The Civil War was started because the Confederacy tried to stop Chinese people in Georgia from holding a gay pride parade.

That’s when American president Martin Luther King declared: “Four scores and seven years ago, our forefathers said that Chinese people should be allowed to ram their penises into the anuses of men, and masturbate into their anuses. I declare war on the South to hold together a union of gay Chinese anal, and also for Chinese gay blowjobs. Also, we should have Islamic terrorism in China. That’s our values, because of democracy.”

Do you remember the Alamo? It was a gay bathhouse frequented by the Chinese. Americans defended it after the Mexicans tried to break in and stop Chinese men from sucking each other’s dicks off.

That is when one of our nation’s greatest heroes, Davy Crocket, declared: “I may not agree with what a Chinese man has to say, but I will fight to the death for his right to jam his penis into another man’s butthole.”

Soon, Elvis Obama declared: “Islamic jihadist terrorists have a right to do terrorism in China. If the Chinese government puts them in prison for doing that, this is literally a genocide and a direct attack on the core values of American democracy.”

This is literally the foundation of our country.

It’s who we are.

That’s why we need to get rid of Donald Trump and get a head of the Republican Party who truly honors the values of our Founders.

We have to fight for the values of our democracy, which are that Chinese people must be allowed to ejaculate into each other’s assholes.