Stormer Ebonics Translation: Masterpiece by DaBaby

I know Stormer Ebonics Translations was supposed to be a Saturday feature, but Saturday for me was not a good Saturday.

But da feature it do is be.

As most of you know, DaBaby was completely canceled from the entire music industry for a short statement on stage about homosexuals. They completely destroyed his career.

This is despite the fact that he actually killed a guy at Walmart – something which had no effect on his career.

Anyway, we understand you’re not allowed to talk about gays if you’re a rapper. But it is probably interesting to know what he was talking about in his hit songs, that no one had any issue with before he came out and said he doesn’t like diseased niggas that suck dick in the parking lot.

“Masterpiece” was one of his hit songs before the canceling for the anti-fag statements.

It has nearly 50 million views on YouTube.

Billboard says that it was the 58th most popular song of 2021, but considering that it came out in January, and all institutions canceled his songs from being played in July after he said that stuff about fags, we can assume that it might have otherwise broken into the top 20.

Here’s the full translation from the original ebonics.  

I hope you noticed how I made aggressive eye contact with you just now
Next time, I am going to shoot you
If you truly love me, have sex with me in a degrading manner
If you truly love me, obey my commands
When you perform fellatio on me, make direct eye contact with me
If someone starts messing around with me, I will fire my gun wildly in random directions

The prostitute I’m sexually involved with is very impressive
I tell jokes that are not even funny
And she laughs at them anyway
She will perform fellatio on me, even when she is angry with me
If someone makes me angry, you will witness extreme violence
If I nod my head to my gang members
They will open fire on you on my orders
I wear a Cartier watch with diamonds on it, I imitate Master P
This diamond watch is very impressive

Roll down your window and make eye contact with me
My gang and I have AR-15 rifles, .45 calibre handguns, 9mm handguns, and we are driving around in a Lamborghini with a matte finish
I walk to various locations alone
I do so wearing very expensive jewelry
I am so wealthy that I roll down the top on my Ferrari convertible
Yes, my friend, I am driving around with a firearm
Some friends just told me that someone got murdered
I don’t care about that, gangsters are always getting murdered
I don’t care about that, this is the way of gangsterism
I’m not exactly sure what happened at that Walmart
I’m not exactly sure what happened on that freeway
Well, I don’t have any problems, everything is good
Tell this prostitute to play my song again
Are they surprised to find out how good my songs are?
Are they surprised I killed that guy?
I’m one of the big time rap musicians who actually kills people
I actually do kill people
Me and my gang members literally kill people
You can try to send someone to kill me in order to make a name for yourself
I have a girlfriend
When we began our relationship, I bought her a purse, and I now keep my Glock in it
I told her, “baby, you’re my bitch now.”
She knows I’ve very respectful, I just use colorful speech

Put more diamonds on my Cartier watch
People think I’m from Detroit
Actually, I’m from the 704 area code of Charlotte, North Carolina
You can come and try to kill me
I will leave you dead on the road, like they do in Detroit
I laugh at people who try to kill me
I am quick to anger, and will knock someone’s teeth out
I fly on jet planes to travel to buy drugs
I probably need psychotherapy
Sometimes, I feel like I’m always lonely
I just came to see some business partners, and I’m carrying a gun
They don’t know that I’m carrying a gun
I’ve made millions of dollars during the coronavirus pandemic
And I’m not even allowed to perform concerts
You are a silly person and very far below me
You are like a common condiment or a poor quality meat product
My new girlfriend looks like a new Barbie doll
I ripped off her clothing
She has a nicely shaped buttocks and she is in love with me
It’s time to have violent sexual intercourse with her
If someone irritates me, I will likely murder him on camera
They will be surprised a rapper killed another rapper
I am a very important person, it doesn’t really matter which crimes I’ve committed
It only matters that I got away with them

Okay, so.

I think there’s a pretty good argument that marketing this kind of thing to young black men is a negative social phenomenon.

I’m a big believer in art and free speech and so on, but the entertainment industry makes a point to market this kind of music – this exact song – to young black men. If you click the above YouTube video for example, there is no parental advisory or request to confirm your age before watching.

Music that encourages murder, gang warfare, drug use, drug dealing, prostitution and pimping, and glorifies all of it as an easy and glamorous lifestyle, is literally purposefully marketed at children by the entire entertainment industry.

That very same entertainment industry destroyed DaBaby’s career for saying that he doesn’t want men sucking each other’s dicks in the parking lot.

So, I mean – figure that out, I guess.