March 8, 2020
I don’t know how they’ve done it, but the entitled Jews behind Star Trek: Picard managed to make episode 6 even worse than all the previous episodes combined. Watching it, I felt shocked and I believe I almost had an aneurysm.
It is just so absolutely sad what they have done.
I’ve been going back and watching some of the original episodes of The Next Generation, and I wish I was writing reviews of those instead. But that is not the burden put upon me. For no, my burden is much stranger.
Episode 6 begins with a dream flashback of Soji’s (the hapa android’s) memories of childhood. We already know these memories are fake, so there isn’t really any kind of weight to it.
Then she wakes up in bed with the handsome Romulan, Narak, who is seducing her for bad purposes, and they have yet another pointless conversation about dumb mystery bullshit.
There is this implication again that the Romulan is falling in love with the android and becoming a true robosexual, even though he is supposed to be seducing her only to steal her memories or whatever.
Then we’re hearing all of this drama about how JL was a part of the Borg, and how he’s upset about that still. And how he’s really emotional about having to visit this cube to rescue Soji.
Just more useless high drama with no actual meaning, filling up space in a show that is in fact pure filler.
JL uses his neocomputer to look up information about the Borg cube, and finds that Hugh is on it. He also sees a picture of himself as a Borg and feels really sad.
Then pilot Rios is playing soccer, and Agnes the secret agent comes upon him and they start making out for some reason.
I don’t even think them having a romance had been foreshadowed. Maybe it was and I didn’t notice, but it just feels random. In storytelling, when you have a dramatic moment, you’re supposed to “earn” it by laying the groundwork, but in this show, they just drop high drama on you and it’s just like “ugh.”
Narak tells his evil sister that the fact Soji has dreams means that she has a subconscious, which means that he can get the information from her by sneaking through it.
He does have a cool box though.
Back on JL’s ship, it is figured out that the only way to get on the Borg cube is to go as a Federation envoy and meet with Hugh.
Raffi is drunk and vaping, and agrees to talk the Federation into providing diplomatic credentials.
This is all just boring, even though it is actually necessary to develop the story. We are left realizing that the dumb pointless drama in this show is actually better than when they try to tell the stupid story they’ve come up with to tie the scenes of drama together.
The Federation official she contacts is another empowered black woman.
They get the diplomatic credentials to get on the Borg cube, but only JL is allowed to go.
Soji realizes that her calls to her mom are fake, and are a way to shut down her brain.
So yes, finally, she’s realizing what we’ve known since the first episode: she’s actually an android.
She then scans all of her belongings and finds that everything she owns is three years old, because she’s three years old, because she’s an android and not a teenage girl.
These characters figuring out stuff that we’ve already known is not interesting. It is incredibly poor storytelling. There would have been a way to do this where the viewer is finding out the mystery at the same time as the characters, but they decided not to do it that way.
JL goes onto the cube and starts having a freakout because of PTSD from being a Borg, something which does not make sense in terms of Star Trek lore, but whatever.
He meets Hugh, and they act like they were once great friends, even though they were not.
He tells Hugh to take him to Soji, as Soji is meeting with her Romulan boyfriend spy and trying to explain to him that everything she owns is 3 years old.
Of course, he already knows that. He uses her fear of the situation to get her to engage in some kind of Romulan meditation ritual to recover her true memories.
As JL gets a tour of the cube, Soji and Narak go into a special room, where she walks around in a pattern to recover her memories.
This is a dumb scene, where they do a memory ritual, and eventually they get to the bottom of the mystery, which is the home planet of the androids.
She describes the location of the android planet, and he kisses her before locking her in the room and releasing poison gas.
More dumb crap that’s supposed to be emotional but isn’t because no one cares about these characters.
She now gets her android powers “activated” and starts punching a hole in the ground to escape the poison gas.
I don’t even understand why poison gas would harm an android, but whatever – I guess it is some kind of ultra anti-android gas.
She jumps through the floor and JL and Hugh are able to track her.
Then comes a several minutes long action scene, as JL and Soji find each other and Hugh takes them to a room with an escape function.
The escape function turns out to be a portal that can take you to anywhere in the galaxy automatically. This is a high technology that has existed in the show before, used by the Sikarians in Voyager, but which no one else has ever been able to get ahold of.
But apparently the Borg now have it, but only use it for emergency escape purposes. Even though they could easily use it to just conquer earth and every other planet in the galaxy if they wanted to.
There is another stupid action scene, when the elf with the sword, Elnor, comes in and kills a bunch of people.
JL and Soji escape, but Elnor stays to kill people, for no reason, as he could obviously just leave with them using this device.
But I guess they need a way to continue to show this cube in future episodes.
JL tells the crew, still on the ship, to meet him on some planet, and he and Soji jump through the portal.
The show ends with Elnor saying “please my friends, choose to live.” Which is so dumb.
There was absolutely nothing of redeeming value in this episode, and it wasn’t even enjoyable to watch on a visual level.
With every episode, Star Trek: Picard gets worse than it was the last episode.
This review was a little late. Episode 7 is already out. I’ll have that review up before episode 8 is out. I am committed here, people.