People say the Taliban has a strong culture and traditions, and that American culture is weak in comparison.
Those people, apparently, haven’t seen the latest trailer for the latest Marvel Comics film, Spider-Man: No Way Home.
The movie is about an interesting story of a young man with scientific powers, who has sex with black women.
Then, the world finds out that he’s keeping his powers a secret, so then they get angry at him, and he gets in trouble.
Then, he uses magic to make everyone forget that he has these powers, so he can return to his peaceful interracial (WMBF) relationship like a normal person.
But the magic powers cause a portal to open up, and then he has to fight Doctor Octopus.
Doc Ock is the same Doc Ock from when you were a kid!
Remember the old Spider-Man movies?
It’s because this is a different timeline and another universe, and the new universe is crossing over with the universe from when you were a boy.
That means you can literally remain a little boy forever!
Millennials are the first generation ever that never has to grow up!
After all: it was only the patriarchy that made people have to grow up.
If we get the right mommy in charge, she will take care of us as little boys forever!
And let me tell you: we’ve got just the right mommy for you.
This is peak culture.
The Taliban can’t compete with this, just because they have order, laws, ethnic homogeneity, a religion, and a family structure.
Spider-Man has CGI explosions.
It has black women who are half white and had a lot of plastic surgery, and are also probably enhanced with CGI.
It has orchestral music that reminds you of the tension you’re feeling when something explodes.
It has true excitement.
There are even funny jokes.
When you watch it, you think “wow, if I had powers like that, I could help people, and then have sex with a black woman.”
America will win because of the strength of our culture, and the powerful nature of democracy that produces things like Marvel Comics movies. The whole world will fall, every knee will bend and every head will bow to the latest exciting new installment of the MCU.
Make sure you’re vaxxed, because that’s the only way you’ll be able to experience this peak cultural experience in theaters. Also, we’re cracking down on incels, so the ticket-taker might want to smell your dick to make sure you’ve had sex recently. The ticket-taker at the entryway to this important cultural experience will likely be down on his knees smelling dicks, and then you can easily flash your vaccine passport at him while he’s smelling your dick.
Actually, this doesn’t come out until December, and we’re going into a major lockdown, so you probably still won’t be allowed in the theaters anyway, but still, make sure you’re vaxxed and sexed.
You can get the vaxx for free, and also you can’t pay for the sex. If you’re having trouble getting sex and you’re worried you’ll be arrested for terrorism because of that, you might want to try removing the puns from your dating profile on Tinder.