August 16, 2019
America needs a leader with a message of negativity that everyone can rally behind.
This season’s Democratic presidential candidates have so far only levied the same criticisms against Donald Trump that the Jewish media have been throwing around for the last three years – he’s rich, he’s racist, he’s sexist, he hasn’t confiscated guns yet, he hates Mexicans, he hacked the election under orders from Putin, etc.
This is not new material.
Everyone has heard these bits a hundred times already, and it gets tuned out. These talking points only appeal to the same voting bloc that already failed to vote Bill Clinton’s wife into office.
But if there’s one thing that everyone hates, it’s fat people. Even fat people hate themselves.
Democratic presidential candidate and tech entrepreneur Andrew Yang said during his recent visit to Iowa that he’d challenge President Trump “to any physical or mental feat under the sun,” adding: “I mean, gosh, what could that guy beat me at, being a slob?“
Yang made the remarks, which have recently begun to pick up traction online, at the Iowa State Fair this past weekend.
Footage of the moment carried by ABC News also shows the presidential candidate saying, “Like, what could Donald Trump possibly be better than me at? An eating contest?”
“Like something that involved trying to keep something on the ground and having really large body mass? Like, if there was a hot-air balloon that was rising and you needed to try and keep it on the ground, he would be better than me at that,” Yang continued. “Because he is so fat.”
“No one wants a president who doesn’t seem like they can run a mile,” he went on, adding, “I don’t think Donald Trump could run a mile … what does he weigh? Like 280? I say he like passes out at like the quarter-mile mark.”
The last election proved that a message of general negativity about the future of the country and the state of politics itself will mobilize the large and growing “Fuck Politics” contingent that has already tuned out to the endless stream of insufferable bullshit about hope, change, medicaid and green jobs.
The country just wants someone who will say what everyone is thinking. That was the whole point of Donald Trump. Now that he’s pivoted to Israel and red flag laws, there are plenty of negative messages that would appeal to Trump voters, such as:
- He hasn’t done a single fucking thing
- Jared Kushner runs his domestic policy
- Mike Pompeo runs his foreign policy
- He watches television, eats fast food and tweets all day
- Literally not one thing except tax breaks for rich people
- Not even a wall
- He’s orange
Also, he’s fat.
Sooner or later, Andrew Yang will need to just come out and ask Donald Trump where his wall is. Mexicans might not like this, but there are many more White people, especially in Iowa, who would pick this guy over the dozen other candidates if he would start hammering on the point that Trump has failed to deliver on the central promise of his campaign in a way that you can show with photos of the border.
Basically, everything is fucked, and this is the best of all possible campaign messages because it’s the only thing that everyone can agree on.
The Best Western Holiday Lodge off Route 18 in northern Iowa feels like the right place to talk about how maybe it’s too late. Accept it, deal with it, Andrew Yang tells me, but try to make the best of it, and maybe we’ll even get somewhere decent along the way. But there’s no “patching the dam,” as he put it. “The world has changed; the world is changing. We can’t put the genie back in the bottle, try as we might or wish as we might,” he told me. “We have to start dealing with the world as it is.”
Yang has already qualified for the third Democratic-primary debate next month, while most of his competitors will not. Several candidates who fail to make the cut are expected to drop out by the end of September. Yang believes his support is much greater than polls can measure, claiming that his supporters—the “Yang Gang”—primarily use cellphones instead of the landlines that tend to make up the average polling groups. The Tesla founder Elon Musk tweeted “I support Yang” last week. “We’re going to shock the world come next February,” Yang told me, referring to the Iowa caucuses on February 3, 2020.
Yang thinks he’s tapped into a new strain of politics. He insists he’s not a fatalist or a nihilist. He figures himself to be an optimist, just one who sees how terrible things are and how much worse they can get, and he believes that the only way to get to the light is to acknowledge the darkness. “When you accept the circumstances that we’re going to be competing against technologies that have a marginal cost of near zero,” Yang told me, “then quickly you have to say, ‘Okay, how are we going to start valuing our time?’ Like, what does a 21st-century economy look like, in a way that actually serves our interests, and not the capital-efficiency machine?”
This is the message coming from a 44-year-old former corporate lawyer from New York who spent years running a nonprofit investment firm. He has zero political experience and doesn’t pretend otherwise. “If you’re a politician, your incentives are to make with the happy talk and then get elected—and then solving the problems is secondary, because you have to raise money to try and get reelected, but no one ever back-checks you,” Yang told me. “The incentives are to say, ‘We can do this; we can do that. We can do the other thing.’ And then, meanwhile, society falls apart.”
Though he has 170,000 donors, many of the people who show up for Yang in person are younger, disaffected men—the kind who may seem like they’re looking for a way out of work, or those who attack politics with destructive detachment. I asked Yang what he would say to the people who would look at those supporters—and at Yang himself—and say that they need to just “grow up.”
“I mean, if you think about it, why are we trapped in this subsistence labor model?” he replied. “Why is it that a job is 9 to 5 or 10 to 6? And my wife’s work [stay-at-home mom] is not a job … Ninety-four percent of the new jobs created in the U.S. are gig, temporary, or contractor jobs at this point, and we still just pretend it’s the ’70s, where it’s like, ‘You’re going to work for a company, you’re going to get benefits, you’re going to be able to retire, even though we’ve totally eviscerated any retirement benefits, but somehow you’re going to retire,’” Yang said. “Young people look up at this and be like, ‘This does not seem to work.’ And we’re like, ‘Oh, it’s all right.’ It’s not all right. We do have to grow up. I couldn’t agree more.”
Of course, I do want a thousand dollars a month. Everyone wants a thousand dollars a month. But, it’s difficult to imagine a law for this getting through the House and the Senate. This is the problem with presidential candidates who promise Hope and Change rhetoric. Only boomers are retarded enough to still seriously believe that a president has the power to change anything substantial.
It would be enough for Andrew Yang to just take a video of himself running a mile, doing fifty push-ups, tearing off his shirt, and screaming “What now, Orange Man? You think you can beat me?” into the camera at the end of it.
Only the strong have the right to sit on the throne. This is nature’s law, and we disobey it at our own peril.