Real Factual News: Russians Just Hacked Joe Biden

“The Man in the Virus Mask”: This photograph of Joe in his mask is really artistic and interesting. It looks a bit like it belongs on the cover of a 1930s crime novel.

Bad news: the Russians hacked Joe Biden.

Absolutely dastardly.


Microsoft Corp recently alerted one of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s main election campaign advisory firms that it had been targeted by suspected Russian state-backed hackers, according to three people briefed on the matter.

The hacking attempts targeted staff at Washington-based SKDKnickerbocker, a campaign strategy and communications firm working with Biden and other prominent Democrats, over the past two months, the sources said.

A person familiar with SKDK’s response to the attempts said the hackers failed to gain access to the firm’s networks. “They are well-defended, so there has been no breach,” the person said.

SKDK Vice Chair Hilary Rosen declined to comment. A Biden spokesman did not respond to a request for comment.

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov dismissed the allegations as “nonsense”. Moscow has repeatedly denied using hacking to interfere in other countries’ elections.

It is actually literal nonsense.

At this point, if Microsoft or the State Department suggested that the best way to stop Russian hackers is to do human sacrifices, the media would report it as fact.

It’s all just so dumb. I come from a good Christian family; I shouldn’t have to engage with this type of weird gibberish.

The hacking attempts on SKDK come as U.S. intelligence agencies have raised alarms about possible efforts by foreign governments to interfere in the November presidential election.

Investigations by former special counsel Robert Mueller and the Senate intelligence committee both concluded that affiliates of the Russian government interfered in the 2016 presidential election, and Mueller has warned that Russia was meddling in the current campaign.

One of the sources said it was not clear whether Biden’s campaign was the target or whether the hackers were attempting to gain access to information about other SKDK clients.

SKDK managing director Anita Dunn was a White House communications director during the Barack Obama presidency and serves the Biden campaign as a senior advisor.

The attempts to infiltrate SKDK were recently flagged to the campaign firm by Microsoft, which identified hackers tied to the Russian government as the likely culprits, according to the three sources briefed on the matter.

The attacks included phishing, a hacking method which seeks to trick users into disclosing passwords, as well as other efforts to infiltrate SKDK’s network, the three sources said.

There you go.

In paragraph 11, we find out that when they said “hacking,” they meant email phishing. Also, “other efforts.”

This has to be the most unserious country that has ever existed, that grown adults can read this and think it is serious.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: this entire “Russian hackers” thing is like talking about evil spirits or ghosts.

It’s the same phenomenon, psychologically, that you can get people to believe in something without any evidence in order to manipulate them. A hacker, like a ghost, is beyond the comprehension of a normal person, having invisible powers to effect change.

Related: Accusations of Consorting with Russian Hackers are No Different Than Accusations of Consorting with the Devil

You can’t prove someone hacked something just like you can’t prove that a house is haunted or a person is possessed by demons or practicing witchcraft.

I will say that if the headlines said, “email phishing,” the general reaction would probably be different. People probably know what that is, and probably also know at least on some level that you can’t just figure out who sent a phishing email.

Maybe people can also imagine that all kinds of people want to get access to all kinds of networks for all kinds of reasons (usually financial, rather than political), and mass sending automated phishing emails is very cheap?

Probably they can’t imagine that people who want to blame Russia for things could be sending out phishing emails and then blaming Russia for them. Because you’re not allowed to say those two Latin words in our current paradigm.