March 30, 2020
We’ve been paying so much attention to the Coronavirus that we forgot about crazy old Joe.
Or maybe we just didn’t think of him because he wasn’t doing anything. I wish he was doing things. I always love when Joe does things. This guy literally cannot do wrong in my mind.
He just brings so much darn excitement.
Joe Biden has taken a commanding 25-point lead in close counties where in 2016 Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were within 10 points of each other, a poll released Saturday revealed.
The Fox News poll shows Biden ahead with 57 per cent support to Trump’s 32 per cent in close counties – defined by the poll as counties where Hillary Clinton and Trump were within 10 percentage points of each other in 2016.
The former vice president also has a 49-40 per cent lead over Trump in the national head-to-head matchup, according to the first Fox poll taken after Biden became the assumed Democratic candidate.
When looking at swing states overall – which were a considerable factor to Trump winning in 2016 – Biden’s lead shrinks to an eight-point margin.
The timing of this poll, taken March 21-24, is encouraging for Biden considering it was conducted during a time when Trump’s approval rating skyrocketed in the midst of the coronavirus crisis.
This could be a signal that the rally behind Trump during this time might not translate to votes in November.
Biden also has a massive boost in support, according to the poll, due to his pledge to choose a woman as his running mate – 63 per cent of voters approve of his promise.
We’ve been working through the details of this new society we’re building where everyone is locked in their homes out of fear of viruses.
I still don’t know the details, but one thing I do know is this: for it to be really funny, you need an 80-year-old man who doesn’t know where he is or what is going on running it.
It would just all fit together with Joe in charge.
So many inspiring lines will emerge in his speeches:
- “We’re fighting a war against the invisible… against the invisibility of our nightmares…”
- “We can’t go home, we can’t go… we can’t go back to where we were before, you have to stay in your home…”
- “We’ve got a cure on the way, but we’re gonna check him out. We can’t just go blazing in the saddle.”
It’s all coming together, really.
A future better than anyone could have hoped for, where everyone is locked in their houses forever, and the government keeps saying they’re working on a cure, but actually no one can work on anything because they’re all locked in their houses as well.
We know whatever happens over the next 20 years is going to create an extreme dystopia. So it might as well be a comedic dystopia.