May 11, 2015
A 17-year-old Melbourne teenager arrested over the weekend on terror-related charges may have done so because some diversity-insensitive so-and-so from his school told him to shave off his beard, The Daily Mail reckons.
Appearing before a judge over the weekend, the Muslim teen, fiercely proud of his facial fungus, did not appeal for bail.
But The Daily Mail reports that The Age reported (does anyone write their own stories anymore?) that this would-be killer of many people was a “gentleman” who grew up in a — and this is the rib-tickler — “normal Muslim family.”
Yep, they seem pretty normal all right — a son who wants to commit mass murder because some infidel asked him to adhere to school uniform regulations and shave off his unsightly muttonchops.
Quoting another crap rag, The Herald Sun says this “normal” and “gentlemanly” Muslim teenager immediately hit Facebook for a tirade against “apostates” when asked to acquaint himself with a disposable razor of his choice.
The quoted rant implies that anyone who squeals on a Muslim about to blow up non-believers for asking them to shave their beards off is not much of a Muslim. On this point he was very particular.
The Australian Federal Police claim that the otherwise lucid and reasonable worshipper of a bloodthirsty god was in the “advanced stages” of planning his attack upon this civilization that discriminates against Muslims with fluffy pusses.
After that, the story gets pretty dull, with the would-be martyr for chin-mullets’ lawyer asking if his parents could pay him a visit in ‘juvie’ and probably slip him a falafel with a file smuggled inside it.
The judge told the lawyer that such a decision would be a matter for the authorities, casting doubt upon his own authority (given he’s a judge and all), and just whereabouts all this response to terror-related malarkey is headed.
Reports thereafter say that the bulk of the court session was sucked up by applications from the media who want to publish the little vermin’s name.
This drew an immediate objection from the teen’s Saul-like lawyer who argued that it would make little Mohammed junior feel bad if people knew his name, and could identify him as the potential bearded butcher.
In fact, not reported in any of this is whether the beard was shaved off or not — which one might assume is paramount to the story given the lengths the carpet coon was about to go to on its behalf.