#NoJiggle: International Controversy After Pictures Posted of Barack Obama’s Daughter’s “Flat, Flabby” Ass

This week, the daughter of the former African Occupation Governor of America Barack Obama has posted images of her flat, flabby ass in a thong, which are widely viewed as disgusting, and have triggered scandal both domestic and international.

A unified body of experts on black asses have come forward to claim that no matter how hard Obama’s ass was slapped, it would not be capable of jiggling, which, along with a political firestorm, has led to the hashtag #NoJiggle trending on Twitter.

First posted by the Daily Mail, it has been confirmed that this photo has not be doctored:

That is Sasha Obama’s real ass.

“It is so offensive that I just don’t even have words. That is an ass that simply will not jiggle,” one expert on black women’s asses who preferred to remain anonymous commented.

“If she wants to live like that, to live whatever lifestyle leads to having an ass that looks like that, this is her prerogative, but she has no right to go out in a thong and force the earth to look at it,” the source added.

Given the highly controversial nature of black women’s asses, it is no wonder that this ass display has sparked a domestic and an international outcry, triggering multiple serious diplomatic incidents.

Financial advisor Bobby Shmurda pointed out that if you want to know more about what a black woman’s ass is supposed to look like, you can check out his latest business management advice video, “Shmoney,” feat. Quavo and Rowdy Rebel.

Here are some relevant screenshots:

These are certainly much different in shape than Sasha Obama’s ass, which is at the root of the brewing row:

It should come as no shock that a former president, still heavily involved in American politics, showing off his daughter’s disgusting, flat, flabby ass in such a controversial and arguably rude manner has led to such a severe backlash.

Here are just a few of the governments who condemned the ass photo:

Shockingly, some of the US Embassies stationed in other countries posted outrage, suggesting that the US embassy staff may defect to the nation they are stationed in as a result of the ass photo.

At home, the ass photo became a partisan issue, with Democrats and Republicans lining up on sides.

Republican and Trump loyalist Matt Gaetz had this to say in response to Democrat defense of the black woman’s flat ass:

Marjorie Taylor Greene compared Obama’s ass to the Nazis, before being contacted by the Anti-Defamation League who told her that Adolf Hitler killed Anne Frank with typhus because she couldn’t get her ass to jiggle when slapped. Greene rushed to the Holocaust Museum to apologize, but then repeated the claim that Adolf Hitler prevented ass-jiggling in rap music videos, further angering the Jewish lobby.

However, Sasha Obama’s ass photo did have some support on the right, including from Republican Senator Lindsey Graham.

Utah Congresswoman Liz Cheney also expressed outrage at the outrage, giving a speech on the floor of the House claiming that criticism of the ass photo was a direct threat to the values of our democracy.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Senator Elizabeth Warren injected herself into the controversy to warn of impending climate change.

In the midst of the controversy, Joe Biden gave a rose garden speech claiming that he knows Sasha Obama’s ass can jiggle, because he’s personally slapped it.

“It jiggles, folks, come on,” the President said. “I know because I’ve jiggled it myself. Come on. It’s time to come together folks, and the ass jiggles just as much as the next Negro girl’s ass. We’re in this together, folks. Come on. I know.”

However, a recent ABC/Ipsos poll showed that 97% of Americans do not believe that Sasha Obama’s ass could jiggle. Analysts say that this could lead to a further dip in Biden’s already unfavorable poll numbers.