May 5, 2018
The Mystery Pooper was many things to many people.
Some viewed him as a menace. A villain wreaking havoc on a peaceful track and field with his poop.
Others viewed him as an irreverent antihero taking justice into his own hands. A sort of Punisher… of poop. A Paul Kersey of poop (Paul Hersey”). A Travis Bickle of poop (might go with “Travis Tinkle”).
But now that his identity has been revealed as none other than the mild-mannered, 150k a year salaried super-intendant… we have more questions than answers about the true goals and hidden agendas of the Mystery Pooper.
One day after Kenilworth Superintendent of Schools Thomas Tramaglini was charged with pooping at an outdoor high school track near his home, the story has gone viral internationally — and the unanswered questions continue to mount.
Here’s what we’re wondering on Day 2 of the scandal.
Where is Tramaglini?
The accused pooper isn’t commenting — and, strangely enough, he doesn’t appear to be changing his outfit, either.
Tramaglini was wearing gym shorts and running shoes as he walked into his Aberdeen home at about 10 a.m. on Friday, holding his mail. (His house is located three miles from Holmdel High School.)
“I have no comment,” Tramaglini said, when an NJ Advance Media reporter approached him.
Additional requests to secure Tramaglini’s side of the story have been thus far unsuccessful.
We want to know.
Was this revenge pooping?
Was he the Brown Avenger, taking one back for the common man from the oppressor?
What else do we know about Tramaglini?
Don’t try looking up his social media accounts — he’s deleted them in the past twenty-four hours. Additional details on the superintendent have been hard to come by, though his presence at the Holmdel High School track does, at least on some level, make sense. Tramaglini completed the 2010 New York City Marathon in 3:48:25, a very impressive time. Before they were deleted, his social media accounts featured numerous posts about running.
Again, this would lend credence to the theory that, if Tramaglini is indeed the serially pooper (and, to be clear, we do not know that he is), that he might have been suffering from “runner’s trots.” But thus far Tramaglini hasn’t attempted to mount such a defense for himself.
So there’s an angle that there was no political motive at all, and he just needed to go?
That is certainly less exciting. But I suppose possible.
Was there a bathroom available at the field?
Yep. According to the Holmdel High School athletic department, there is a porta-potty available at the school’s track and field facility available year-round. Considering that there were feces being left at the track on a daily basis, the alleged pooper had to know there was a better option than the ground. This would suggest intent on his part. By a similar measure, the track is located very close to a wooded area, where someone doing their business, while still not legal, wouldn’t nearly be as problematic.
While I can understand not wanting to go in a portapotty, I think it is clear that he was trying to send a message… a message to the fat cats who have forgotten all about the little guy.
How is the Kenilworth school district reacting to the scandal?
The Kenilworth school district has not formally commented on the matter, other than to say that Tramaglini is on paid leave until the matter is resolved. Meanwhile, a source at Brearley High School in Kenilworth sent NJ Advance Media a picture of a flier that was found in a bathroom at the school on Thursday.
The flier includes Tramaglini’s mug shot and a quote that the source says he often extolled to students: “Not everyone is born equal.”
I didn’t even realize you were allowed to say that anymore.
That simply reenforces my belief that this pooping was an act of defiance against the system… of oppression.
You can tell by the guy’s eyes in the photo he’s on psyche meds.
His eyes are all spaced out in other photos.
Kike doctors give them out like candy.
At least 20% of Americans are on psyche meds.
He should blame those.
It will get him off and start the conversation about what these drugs are doing to people’s brains better than the school shooter thing has.
But yeah, it’s possible he’s not on them.
I’d bet money he is.
But who the hell knows.
Of the crazy shit that is going on in America in 2018, this is not particularly high on the crazy list. It’s just getting a lot of attention because it’s novel and funny.