August 11, 2018
As many devoted Stormers know, I am keen on developing a viable treasure-hunting Stormer Force.
Like the Nazis from Indiana Jones.
I’m not sure what to call it yet. It could be a branch of the Naval Defense Unit that when we’re not patrolling the Mediterranean and Florida Coastline, having yacht parties and chillin’ while we do treasure hunting.
Like this man.
A treasure-hunter exploring the depths of the Bermuda Triangle using a secret map made by NASA astronaut Gordon Cooper in space has made a mysterious discovery which may prove the region was visited by aliens in centuries past.
Explorer Darrell Miklos has been investigating more than 100 magnetic ‘anomalies’ using maps created in the 1960s by his friend and famed NASA astronaut Cooper to locate shipwrecks in the Caribbean.
Many of Miklos’ discoveries have been featured over two seasons of the Discovery Channel docu-series ‘Cooper’s Treasure.’ However, the latest installment of the show includes an unexpected discovery at an undisclosed location near the Bahamas.
Miklos had expected to find an ancient shipwreck but instead, the explorer said he found an astonishing structure unlike anything he had seen before. The ‘unidentified submerged object’ (USO) is huge, and has 15 long 15,300ft obtrusions extending from its side.
I don’t think it’s a UFO…
The Daily Mail quotes the show as saying it has more than 5,000 years or coral reef on it… but even if that was the case, I think they would just dig through and find some kind of metal alloy or whatever the fuck an alien ship is made of. Instead of speculating from a weird shape.
He also found some alleged buildings, which could theoretically be structures from the last Ice Age.
This part of the earth would have been above ground during that period. Or I mean, I would assume so.
This is an ice age land map (the red is stuff that wasn’t buried and now is).
Sea levels rose 400 feet (120 meters). So a lot of human shit presumably got buried. And presumably some of it would have been made of stone, and still be around down there.
And that would actually be interesting.
But instead of focusing on that, they have to mix in UFO shit.
And I suddenly had flashbacks to when I used to watch Discovery channel or any TV really. It was nothing but these deceptive cuts, to stretch out what amounted to a bunch of foul-mouthed truck drivers, excavators, drillers, treasure hunters, whatever, just sitting around mumbling under their breaths for an entire season.
All this…shit is just boomer-feed. Or possibly prole feed. Boomer-prole feed perhaps.
I mean, who wants to sit around and watch truckers just bouncing around in their seats for an entire season?
I really want to find the people who saw shows like this take over every single channel that used to be somewhat interesting and were like, “good, finally, this is my kind of entertainment.”
It boggles the mind.
So yeah, we need to fix that. We need to make a new Discovery Channel and a new History Channel. We would actually discover ancient Atlantean ruins and broadcast that shit like a BBC-style documentary from the 80s.
That was the absolute peak of TV by the way. Slow close-up cuts of maps, actors in period costumes and artifacts all narrated by an old dude with a peak British accent.
We need to bring that back.
And just think about all the cool stuff the Stormer Expeditionary Excavation Team could find in the jungles of Brazil…
…or what the Deep Sea Stormer Snorkling Squad might find on the bottom of the sea…
Instead of just a boomer-enthusiast with a boat, it would be cool to see what results a crew of Stormers could get.
So yeah, every Stormer with a yacht needs to hit me up in the comments section. The guy with the biggest boat gets to host the expedition. I’ll still be Captain, but you can pilot the boat, of course. I guess that will make you skipper? Well, we’ll iron out the details later. We’ll also need a special flag design, some patches to sew on our sweaters and a solid crew.
Y’all will thank me when we hit pay dirt, get rich, split the loot and make an actually decent show to put on cable.
Andrew Anglin contributed to this report.