Little Red Shaniqa: Scientists Claim Little Red Riding Hood was Really Black

Andrew Anglin
Daily Stormer
November 15, 2013

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Yuck. How offensive can it get?

The liberal establishment is intent on robbing us of our roots, and thus leaving us in a vacuum, incapable of identifying who we really are.

They attack our heroes, they defame our ancestors, as part of an ongoing Marxist program to weaken the foundational structure of Western society.

As they have already gone through and attacked all of the core foundation myths, they are now apparently moving on to steal our children’s stories.

From Press Association:

Little Red Riding Hood may be commonly depicted as pale-skinned and blonde but she has distant relatives in Africa and Asia, research has shown.

Scientists traced the folk tale’s evolutionary tree and found links with similar stories as far away as China, Japan and Korea.

Just as humans and chimpanzees share an ancient ancestor, all these tales arose from a common source, experts believe.

The Wolf and the Kids, a story dating back to the first century AD and popular in Europe and the Middle East, tells of a wolf that impersonates a nanny goat and devours her offspring.

Some 1,000 years later the wolf was still cast in the role of the villain, but the nanny goat was transformed into Red Riding Hood’s grandmother.

Other branches of the story led to Red Riding Hood variants in Africa and Asia, where the wolf is replaced by an ogre or tiger.

Scientists followed the trail of Little Red Riding Hood using techniques normally used by biologists to group together closely related organisms and place them on a “tree of life” mapping their evolution.

They subjected 58 stories to the process, known as phylogenetic analysis.

The researchers focused on 72 plot variables, such as the characters of the protagonist and villain, the tricks used by the villain to deceive the victim, and whether the victim is eaten, escapes or is rescued.

Anthropologist Dr Jamie Tehrani, from the University of Durham, who led the study, said: “My research cracks a long-standing mystery. The African tales turn out to be descended from The Wolf and the Kids but over time, they have evolved to become like Little Red Riding Hood, which is also likely to be descended from The Wolf and the Kids.

Next up:

-Santa Claus was secretly a child-murdering pimp who ran an illegal gambling operation with midgets at the North Pole

-King Arthur was a Chinese chicken farmer who killed his wife for insurance money

-All astronauts have been black

-Danial Boone was gay

-Saint Patrick, a gypsy wizard, only drove the snakes out of Ireland to drive up demand for the imitation snake-skin boots he was importing from China

-Hank Williams was a Muslim

-Plato was addicted to crystal meth

-The tooth fairy is really an Afghani goat herder who steals childrens’ teeth to decorate his caravan

Lou Reed was a talented musician who made large contributions to American culture

-Thor was a sexist who thought all women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and beat his wife with a hammer

-Adolf Hitler was a lazy drug addicted, porno-watching, sadeo-masochistic homosexual half-Jew with syphilis and horrible table manners who injected the juice from a bulls testicles to make himself into an Ayran superman and killed six million Jews (er, wait, we already heard that one)