As a part of the great drama that is lining up in 2020 to lead to the apocalypse, documentary filmmaker and utterly shameless whore and international scam artist Lauren Southern has returned to the fold. Last week, Southern released a cryptic 17-minute video. I am giddy with glee. Southern is one of my most favorite people on the entire internet, and it is a joy to have her back in these tubes.
Fortunately, Southern is bringing a truckload of drama, as she always does. This is the woman who vaguely insinuated Laura Loomer raped her, which led to intense speculation about if and how a woman can rape another woman. Many other wonderful adventures told in the annals of the Daily Stormer have featured Lauren as the beleaguered but spunky protagonist, and her timely reappearance has filled me with great vigor.
So gather round, dear lads, and prepare for the dawn of a new age of adventure.
Southbound and Down: Return of the Ultimate Savior of the White Race
When we first met our heroine, she was 21 and still riding the teenage glow. She quickly became fat, but began to attend the gym after she was fat-shamed in the annals of the Daily Stormer. The first notable realization upon viewing the video of her return is that our protagonist has had disastrous plastic surgery and is anorexic. She has always had an ill-fated and largely doomed physical form, but this is a new level of rough riding.
She no longer has even a shadow of nubility, because she has had sex with so many men. She has become the shadow. It is truly a metaphysical phenomenon, the way promiscuity is able to drain a woman of her lifeforce and leave her a kind of empty husk. We realize at the outset, this is going to be a truly dark adventure – a direct march into the bottomless depths of a putrid bog of ultimate odium.
She is 25. You want to talk about rough riding?
Everything is dark these days, in so many different metaphorical and literal ways that it is truly fitting that our heroine should return to us in our hour of darkness as a deformed skeletal monstrosity.
So saddle up, because we are going to simply walk into Mordor.
Fake Pregnancy Ups the Ante for Intrigue
She claims in the video that a year ago, when she quit the internet, she had gotten married and had a child. I believe that this is probably untrue. Her brand did not make any sense, given that she was saying that she thought women should be traditional and get married and have kids to save the white race, whilst she was going on the ultimate sex romp around the world and in particular having sex with the blacks. Faking a pregnancy and birth would be misguided brand management.
Southern’s retirement came just before MILO had accused her of running a scam with two homosexuals to defraud Tommy Robinson and Alex Jones of their hard earned cash, which she and the homosexuals allegedly spent on expensive wine and drug parties. Reading the thing he wrote about these people was one of the worst experiences of my entire life, and I refuse to do it again now, but I wrote a review/summary when I did read it. He accused her of colluding with Antifa (“Hope Not Hate”) in some way, though that part isn’t really clear. Most importantly, he accused her of having sex with everyone, including Allum Bokhari.
According to MILO (and basically everyone, including people I know), she would have sex with men in order to get them to do ghostwriting for her or otherwise aid her in her adventures. Bokhari is a microcephalic Pakistani boy who would have done this for her simply because she talked to him, but she had sex with him anyway because she is a completionist.
MILO also says that she had sex with Paul Joseph Watson – apparently, she had already had sex with all of the heterosexuals, and began attempting to convert gays. (Joseph Watson is playing a key role in our newest adventure, as we will get to shortly.)
She announced her “retirement” on June 2, 2019, and MILO’s drama manifesto was published a week later. MILO says he was making calls and she found out he was writing it and quit for that reason. In January of this year, she posted instagrams claiming to have been married and had a child. She did not say who the man was, where she was living, anything.
These are the images accompanying her instagram post:
None of those proves anything – in fact, the opposite. In the third photo, it seems almost certain that she has a pad under her dress, rather than a baby bump.
Let’s go autistic here. Firstly, the slope is incorrect. The baby bump should not just pop out like a sports ball.
Secondly, her breasts do not appear enlarged and her face is too thin. Women don’t necessarily get fat when they get pregnant, and in fact they should not get fat; however, they do get swelling in the face, as you can notice in any of the many, many, many “I got my body back” (or before and after) posts on the women’s internet.
All women experience facial swelling. A pregnant woman’s body produces 50% more fluids.
Her face in this picture is as thin as it’s ever been – thinner than it was when she retired in June.
Moreover, the bump looks low to me. If we dissect this using science, it would appear lowish.
What is certain is that although she was in her ultra-fat phase in that comparison photo (allegedly trying to bulk up her cameltoe), her waist is significantly thinner in the alleged pregnancy photo.
This is the only other available pregnancy photo, posted beside an “after.” Again, she has zero swelling, and looks thinner than she’s ever been.
As far as the photographs posted to instagram – they were done by her “friend,” a Ms. Olivia Ann, who is herself a skank from Canada and would surely help Southern in her conspiracy.
The biggest thing that anyone researching this theory needs to look at are the dates.
Southern posted the instagram thread announcing her marriage and baby on January 29, so 9 months before that would be April 29, 2019. Presumably, she had not had the baby that day, but we can probably assume conception took place sometime in April or late March, meaning that when she resigned, she’d have been three months pregnant (which obviously makes sense and is a point for the theory that she actually didn’t fake this pregnancy).
However, that is also when she would have been finishing and promoting her documentary “Borderless.” How did she film, edit and promote that documentary with her two homosexuals while also getting secretly married? And she must have been secretly married, because that wedding photo is before she started showing.
Further: who goes to work again six months after the birth of a child when she isn’t even required to do so? She has hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars she made from beta males who paid her $500 for a 15-minute private chat.
Would I bet my life on the fake pregnancy theory? No. I actually was certain that it was fake before I started going through all of this, now I believe that there is a 50/50 chance it’s real. If it is real, however, we need to investigate who the father is. Because based on these dates, he’s probably an Arabian refugee.
That Video She Posted
We’re deep in the brush now – crawling through the tunnels with the tunnel rats. But we have yet to discuss the content of the cryptic video posted by Southern, in which the mystery is confronted.
She begins with pure drama, saying that people are talking about her, but they’re lying. She doesn’t name any names, but we see that it is MILO and Paul Joseph.
She also again talks about her alleged pregnancy, posting a new image with her (fake? Arab?) baby, where you can really see how brutal that plastic surgery truly was. She is transforming into her final form so she can finally save the white race once and for all.
Going from the drama straight for the heavy and hard-hitting content, she says that politics and society are a mystery, and we just don’t even know what is going on. She says she’s going to guide us into admitting that we don’t really have all the answers.
She says she’s going on an adventure to find the truth of the mysteries, because she doesn’t know everything, and “people are multidimensional.” She says we will lead ourselves to a peaceful society by admitting that everything is truly a mystery.
“Going forward I want to approach the world with a genuine open mind,” she says. “Open to both the rational and emotional aspects of being human. Not facts over feelings, but facts and feelings, because facts help us operate in this world but love and compassion are what make it worthwhile.”
What does it mean? Is she starting a cult? That would truly be a plot twist for the ages, especially if she declared that her son is the chosen one, sent forth for the final battle.
I don’t know what answers anyone needs here. What are the questions? Who is confused? Why?
These questions lie at the core of the mystery.
She says that she questions both the right and the left, and that the real truth is that no one knows the truth.
She then says she’s planning to make a dozen documentary films.
If she is indeed married with a real child, where is her husband? Is she divorced?
What if the father is Stefan Molyneux?
Molyneux will soon enter the fold and lay his cards on the table.
Joseph Watson Jump-Cuts Lauren Down to Size
Joseph Watson is my true enemy, a real enemy of the people, an internet villain on par with your Mundane Matts and your Ethan Kleins. For years, the fiend Watson has copied my materials directly and used them in his sickening jump-cut laden videos.
Watch his coronavirus video from earlier this month.
Jump cuts every three seconds. Like it’s 2006 all over again, except with a 45-year-old gay man with a severe anti-social personality disorder.
His entire identity is ripped off of me. All the way through 2015, this guy was promoting idiot conspiracy theories like chemtrails. He is also a complete shill for the Jews. He has continually rewritten my articles and removed the word “Jew.”
All sorts of people borrow my materials, and I appreciate it, generally. Especially when people have wider audiences. In actual fact, given that it is virtually impossible for anyone to share materials from this site, I write it primarily to influence other creators. However, what Watson does is pure evil. He takes my materials because they are popular and then he uses that good stuff to promote his neoconservative agenda. Watson is a hardline John Bolton type supporter of wars with every country, especially China.
Last year, he went to Hong Kong to promote a violent Antifa revolution. He did a seemingly endless stream of videos on this, attempting to brainwash his viewers into caring about “freedom” for the chinks. This whole thing where it’s supposedly morally good for white people to be concerning themselves about the freedom of some weird group on the other side of the planet is the dumbest trick in the book.
Who cares about Chinese people? Why, when all of these things are happening in America and Britain, should we be trying to liberate the Chinese?
Of course, now we understand that the long term agenda with this “Hong Kong freedom” gibberish was to give millions of Hong Kongese British passports.
Paul Joseph said, “It’s all about freedom for the oppressed people in the second richest city on earth, I really care about the Chinese people being free for some reason!”, and then it shifts to, “oh, whoops, actually it’s about flooding Britain with three million gooks, because actually, they can only have freedom in the UK, which is a really free country, as long as we’re not talking about freedom of speech, economic freedom, dog trick freedom or the freedom to carry a potato peeler. But it’s much more freedom than Hong Kong where black masked Antifa revolutionaries can get in trouble just for lighting an old nationalist man on fire, and Hong Kong people having freedom is just really important somehow for no reason.”
Jump Cutter is also a major supporter of war with Iran, by the way.
It is truly glorious that our protagonist Lauren Southern is going to lay low the rat fink Watson – she will be his final reckoning.
Ever since the glorious return of our heroine, Watson has been having an estrogen fit. Southern is Cool Hand Luke.
He’s been posting all over the place about her, and I’m trying to put the story in order. Before she came back, in May of this year, he mentioned her in a tweet as a joke, saying she’d stolen a book from his house. Which means this is not a feud that existed before she posted the video.
After her video, apparently he tried to post a reply in the comments and she deleted it.
I don’t understand what he’s talking about.
Surely, he’s not talking about the content of the video? There isn’t any content. She just says that everything’s a mystery.
Southern deleted her own tweets to make it look like Paul Joseph is ranting at himself.
Paul Joseph’s gayboy Chinese freedom followers don’t now what Thot Patrol is. Because it’s definitely not throwing a faggot tantrum all over the place like a bitch.
He keeps talking about his YouTube comments, but he doesn’t say what was in the YouTube comments.
Lauren posted the WhatsApp messages he sent her while posting this other stuff.
He might have had some kind of mental breakdown… or this is part of his game.
Then he started whining about his private messages.
There are at least a dozen more of these same tweets, saying over and over this thing about his YouTube comments. Then he finally starts saying he is going to release secret information about her.
I hope he drops the motherload.
Then he finally closed by saying he had sex with her. But instead of saying something normal like “I stabbed them guts,” he said it really creepily.
Why is “inside” in quotation marks?
Is this some kind of ironic penetration?
Paul Joseph is a known homo.
Did Southern seduce him by pretending to be a Chinese boy when he was drunk?
One thing is certain: this adventure can only increase in quality.