March 21, 2020
I open the news hoping to find that Donald Trump has ordered an excavation of the satanic pedophile tunnels under Tom Hanks’ house, and instead I find that Kenny Rogers is dead.
The Rogers family is sad to announce that Kenny Rogers passed away last night at 10:25PM at the age of 81. Rogers passed away peacefully at home from natural causes under the care of hospice and surrounded by his family. https://t.co/adxAgiMW2s pic.twitter.com/nggWiiotMT
— Kenny Rogers (@_KennyRogers) March 21, 2020
And Tom Hanks is just going to get away with it, I’m sure.
This is exactly what I did not need today. And of course, what should be the most important news of the year is getting buried under dumb nonsense about the boomer hoax virus.
This is a sick world. It’s just truly sick.
For those of you kids who don’t know, let me tell you a little something about Kenny Rogers: he was the best there ever was, other than maybe Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard and Johnny Cash. And probably Willie Nelson.
But aside from those, he was the best.
They’ll tell you he’s the singer of “The Gambler.” And that is true and that is a great song that young men can learn a lot from.
But he was the singer of so much more.
His first big hits were with The First Edition, a band that he fronted which was formed in 1967.
In 1976, Rogers released his first solo album, which contained such hits about women whose names start with “L” as “Laura” and “Lucile.”
Then came The Gambler.
But after that came “Don’t Fall in Love with a Dreamer.”
In 1982 he starred in the film “Six Pack.”
And then his number 1 hit “Lady,” produced by Lionel Richie.
Man, that is a fantastic song.
Then with the Bee Gees’ Larry Gibb, he did “Islands in the Stream,” a duet with Dolly Parton.
In 1988, with Ronnie Milsap, he released the award-winning “Make No Mistake (She’s Mine).”
Continuing to kick out the hits like an absolute MACHINE, Rogers had another number 1 hit in 2000 with “Buy Me a Rose.”
But his greatest achievement of all was with the fast food restaurant chain “Kenny Rogers’ Roasters,” which served roasted chicken of the finest order.
Kenny Rogers’ Roasters was a place where all good families could go and know for a fact that they were going to get the best roast chicken this side of the Pegasus galaxy.
It was a sight to behold, those roasters.
Kenny Rogers was a truly great American, and he will be sorely missed.
In fact, he was probably the last great American.
Now all we have left is scum like Tom Hanks and his sickening satanic pedo tunnels which Donald Trump refuses to excavate.