Jeff Bezos’ Only Viable Space Tourism Rival is Richard Branson! Elon Musk Totally Irrelevant!

Elon Musk has made leaps and bounds in the area of dog homosexuality. But unfortunately, the space race has left him and his gay dog behind.


The race between billionaires Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson to make suborbital space tourism a viable business is heating up.

Why it matters: The disagreements between Bezos and Elon Musk capture the limelight, but the competition between Bezos’ Blue Origin and Branson’s Virgin Galactic could soon make space a destination for ordinary citizens.

Driving the news: Bezos announced earlier this month that he’s planning to fly with his brother and two other passengers on the first crewed mission for Blue Origin’s New Shepard space system on July 20.

If that happens, they will have leapfrogged Virgin Galactic, a company that many expected to fly its founder first.

Branson has long been expected to fly on one of the first operational flights for his company, and the blog Parabolic Arc recently reported he’s going to try to beat Bezos to the edge of space.

“I think part of how they’re shaping the competition is by putting themselves on the line as part of the face of the competition,” Victoria Samson of the Secure World Foundation told me.

What’s happening: The two companies go about getting people to suborbital space differently.

Blue Origin uses a rocket to launch a capsule carrying its passengers up to about 62 miles above the Earth. From there, the crew will experience minutes of weightlessness as they start their descent back to the surface.

Virgin Galactic uses a carrier aircraft to fly its space plane high above Earth. The plane drops from the carrier and its rocket engine kicks on, sending passengers on a flight to the edge of space before gliding back to the planet.

Neither of these systems are fast enough to go orbital, so unlike SpaceX’s Dragon capsule and Falcon 9 rocket, which brings astronauts to the space station, suborbital flights only last a matter of minutes.

Elon may continue to dream about riding his gay dog into space – but it will remain a sick, unnatural fantasy.

It must be quite the true humiliation for Elon.

He started the private space industry, and now he is completely irrelevant to it.

He has failed at everything. His car company will soon go under, as electric cars will be produced much cheaper by other companies.

The entire internet hates him because he purposefully sabotaged Bitcoin in the middle of its bull run, costing normal bros across the planet billions of dollars.

The global scorn for Elon is matched only by the scorn for his gay dog.

Now, if Bezos were to just come out and endorse Bitcoin and make the price go back up, as well as hire Andrew Anglin to make a new Stargate series, Musk would be finished off – once and for all.