Is Mitch McConnell’s Gook Wife Beating Him Up?

Many right-wingers and far-right extremists believe the perfect solution to their sexual issues is a gook wife.

Once again, right-wingers are proved to primarily be utopian morons, who don’t understand that reality exists, and it sucks, and there is no solution, and you just have to deal with it.

This is life:

  1. You suffer
  2. You die
  3. You have fun when you can find it

That’s it. There is no “happy life.” There is just a pattern of successfully making fun in hellish situations. That’s the best you can ever hope for.

But sure, bro – go get a gook wife, let her make your life into hell, and then when you’re 70 and she has the upper hand physically, she’ll start beating you up every day.


Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell did not answer questions about his health Thursday, only saying there were “no concerns” after reporters asked him about what appeared to be bruises and bandages on his hands in recent days.

“Of course not,” McConnell told reporters in the Capitol when asked if he had any health issues people should know about.

McConnell, who is up for reelection, later said there were “no concerns” when asked directly by CNN about the apparent bruises or if he had any other problems.

The 78-year-old did not respond when asked if he was being treated by a doctor. An aide to McConnell also declined to provide any additional details when asked multiple times about the majority leader’s health.

McConnell has been conducting his regular business in the Senate this week, including delivering speeches on the Senate floor as he usually does when the chamber is in session. On Thursday, McConnell spoke in favor of Judge Amy Coney Barrett’s nomination to the Supreme Court in his remarks on the floor.

In 2019, McConnell fractured his shoulder after he tripped and fell at his Kentucky home. He also underwent triple heart bypass surgery in 2003. A statement released by his office at the time described the operation as a success.

Actually, in 2019, his gook wife pushed him down the stairs when his back was turned.

The cops showed up and she told them: “He bad man! He always say me bad thing! He liar always, me no like liar, always say bad me! Me no fell happy because he so liar! He say me call his mother, but his mother die already. He like baby. He say me bad like that, I go back my country! My father is a big boss, I no need have liar man, I back my country!”

The cops were going to arrest her but Mitch refused to press charges, saying that she can’t help it because of her “wily Asiatic blood.”

Did you know that the classic Hall & Oats song “Maneater” was originally titled “Gook Wife,” but they had to change it to match the meter and tempo?

But alas, if we’re going to talk about Asian women pushing things down, like pushing their elderly white beta husbands down stairs, we would be amiss to not remember that they also push things up, and that is much less evil.

No but seriously, I’m joking – every gook wife is a perfect angel, and I’m sure Mitch isn’t being abused by her.

But that leads one to ask: what the hell is going on?

He’s got bruises on his face.

You can tell he’s covered that up with makeup. It must look really bad without the makeup.

His entire hands are bruised.

And “of course not” is a bizarre answer to questions about why your face and hands – all of your skin that is visible in a suit – are bruised.

So what’s going on?

Someone else might be hurting him – some political enemy. He could have been tortured by the globalists.

Who the heck knows?

He might also have some condition that he’s scared to get treated because he doesn’t want to be accused of having coronavirus, or deal with all the weird crap going on at hospitals now.

Whatever is going on, the dude is not looking good at all. If the SCOTUS thing falls apart, we’ll know it was because of whatever is going on here.