February 27, 2020
Nobody knows why this is happening, but everybody knows how to fix it – just add more diversity.
Delhi remains on edge after a third consecutive night of rioting, with reports of Muslim homes and shops being targeted by violent mobs.
Twenty-three people have been killed so far in the deadliest violence the Indian capital has seen in decades.
The clashes first broke out on Sunday between protesters for and against a controversial citizenship law.
But they have since taken on communal overtones, with reports of many Muslims being attacked.
Yeah, that has a nasty habit of happening whenever different people live around each other.
Photographs, videos and accounts on social media paint a chilling image of the last few days – of mostly Hindu mobs beating unarmed men, including journalists; of groups of men with sticks, iron rods and stones wandering the streets; and of Hindus and Muslims facing off.
Access to these areas was severely restricted on Tuesday, when most of the violence took place. Judging by the names released so far, both Muslims and Hindus are among the dead and injured.
Ah, so the victims are diverse too.
That makes it all okay.
The Delhi High Court, which is hearing petitions about the violence, has said it cannot let “another 1984” happen on its “watch”. In 1984, more than 3,000 Sikhs were killed in anti-Sikh riots in the city.
Since the BBC won’t tell us what those were about, I’ll give you the Cliff Notes version:
In India there’s these people called Sikhs, who are neither Moslems nor Hindus.
Diversity doesn’t work for them either, presumably because they’re all neo-Nazis, so they want to form their own separate state called Khalistan.
And when Indira Gandhi, then Hindu prime minister of India, had the leader of their movement killed, her Sikh bodyguards put a total of 33 bullets in her.
The Hindus got pissed off because she was their bitch, so they started chimping out and killing thousands of Sikhs at random.
India has a lot of diversity, as you can tell.
Prime Minister Narendra Modi tweeted on Wednesday, three days after the violence broke out, appealing for peace. He added that he had reviewed the situation and police were working to restore normalcy.
Opposition leader Sonia Gandhi has called for the resignation of Home Minister Amit Shah, saying he is “responsible” for the violence.
Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal has described the situation as “alarming” and demanded for the army to be called in.
The unrest is centred around Muslim-majority neighbourhoods – such as Maujpur, Mustafabad, Jaffrabad and Shiv Vihar – in north-east Delhi.
The streets in these areas are littered with stones and shattered glass, broken and burnt vehicles are strewn about, and the stench of smoke from smouldering buildings fills the air.
While fresh clashes have not been reported on Wednesday, the city continues to simmer.
BBC reporters saw Muslim residents in Mustafabad leaving their homes with bags and bundles of their belongings, fearing further clashes.
Some 189 people are injured, according to officials at the Guru Teg Bahadur hospital where many of them have been admitted.
BBC reporters at the hospital say they saw people with all sorts of injuries, including bullet wounds, scrambling for treatment. They say the hospital seemed “overwhelmed”, and many of the injured were “too scared to go back home”.
Many, including journalists, have tweeted and spoken of mobs demanding to know their religion. At least one photojournalist said he was asked to remove his pants to prove his identity. This has also happened during religious riots in the past to identify Muslims as they are usually circumcised.
That’s a lot of vibrancy for just one city.
Can you imagine how awesome their meat-on-a-stick must taste?
It must be the best meat-on-a-stick this side of Rotherham.
It appears to have started with a threat issued by Kapil Mishra, a leader from the governing Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), against protesters opposing the citizenship law.
On Sunday, he led a rally in Jaffrabad – and asked people via Twitter – to gather in the area. In his tweet, he told the Delhi police they had three days to clear the protest sites and warned of consequences if they failed to do so.
The first reports of clashes emerged later that day.
The Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA), which grants amnesty to illegal non-Muslim immigrants from certain Muslim-majority countries, has sharply polarised India.
Critics say it discriminates against Muslims, while the government denies this, saying it only offers citizenship to persecuted minorities.
The timing of the unrest is being seen as an embarrassment for Prime Minister Narendra Modi as he was hosting US President Donald Trump over the last two days on his first official visit to India.
As the violence escalated, it overshadowed Mr Trump’s visit, making it to national and global headlines.
I doubt Trump even noticed them.
I mean, America has lots of diverse riots on a regular basis, usually against the people who voted for him, and he doesn’t seem to notice any of those…
And there are people working hard to bring even more diversity, so that one day, meat-on-a-stick in every American city and town tastes just as good as the one in Delhi.