Joe Biden is leading a global effort to change the weather, warning this week that if it gets too hot, fat women could have an excuse to walk around topless.
“Fat people sweat a lot and it smells awful,” the fairly elected president warned. “You’ll be left smelling their stench, and watching their stretch-marked titties flop around.”
Notably, this is the first time anyone has ever given a concrete example of the real world problems global warming will cause. Most people dislike fat women, and have no desire to see them disrobe. However, experts warn that Biden’s statements could have the reverse effect.
“A growing group of fat fetishists could relish the thought of fat topless women everywhere, and drive around pick-up trucks all day eating cheeseburgers, increasing the global temperature,” Anthony Fauci explained.
Biden then blamed China for changing the weather, noting that China has no fat women, and so has little reason to care if the planet gets warmer.
U.S. President Joe Biden’s administration next week will release more policies it believes are needed to tackle climate change and is urging China to toughen one of its targets on greenhouse gas emissions, his top climate advisers said on Saturday.
Gina McCarthy, the White House’s national climate adviser, did not say what policies would be released. A memo seen by Reuters on Thursday showed Biden will unveil a second round of executive orders as soon as Jan. 27 that include an omnibus order to combat climate change domestically and elevate the issue as a national security priority.
“We’ve already sent signals on the things that we don’t like that we’re going to roll back, but this week you’re going to see us move forward with what’s the vision of the future,” McCarthy told a virtual meeting of the U.S. Conference of Mayors.
Biden, a Democrat who took office on Jan. 20, quickly issued executive orders canceling the Keystone XL pipeline that would import tar sands oil from Canada and rejoining the 2015 Paris climate agreement.
Both of those moves reversed former President Donald Trump’s policies. During his four years in office, Trump rolled back about 100 regulations on climate and the environment as he pursued a policy of “energy dominance” to maximize output and exports of oil, gas and coal.
Biden then pulled the corners of his eyes to imitate the small eyes of a Chinese man and said “me eat doggie, me no likey eat cold doggy.” He went on: “come on, man!” He explained that science says if Chinamen would agree to eat dogs raw instead of cooking them first, it would help his agenda to turn the world into a single sheet of solid ice.
Biden explained that crippling the American energy sector and destroying energy independence will force Americans to help out Saudi Arabia, a country that was turned into a desert by Americans eating cheeseburgers.
Biden’s vision of the future is one where it is frozen wasteland. We won’t be able to burn fuel to keep warm, so the only warmth you will ever find is when a man ejaculates into your anus.
Biden claims that if the Chinese will go along with his program, “we will see snow in the summer in Texas.”
Famous climate scientist Greta Thunberg, who has declared that she wants to turn the Atlantic Ocean to a solid sheet of ice, which will help solve climate equality crisis by allowing Somalians to drive Tesla electric trucks to Minnesota to live on welfare, has also suggested anal sex as a way to keep warm in her coming frozen utopia.
“If it gets double cold, then people should do double anal,” Greta recently told an assembly of the United Nations.