I Would Buy a Used Car Off Senator Kennedy (But It Would Have to be Japanese)

Louisiana Senator John Kennedy, the Irishman with the Baptist touch, seems to be on Fox News every other segment these days.

He’s a likable guy, on a base level. He seems like a guy who I would smile and make a thumb-and-forefinger gun gesture at when he was mowing his lawn across the street when I was walking out to pick up the morning newspaper.

I also might run into him at the used car dealership, and I might be convinced to buy a car from him. But I would only buy a Japanese car from a man who acted like this, and I would pay no more than half of his asking price.

But clearly, he is not buying this airtime. He isn’t selling books on the return of Planet X or an invention to make slicing vegetables more time efficient. He is brought on all these shows all the time because this old fashioned 1970s low level rip-off artist persona is getting ratings. It is getting ratings because a significant portion of the Fox News audience finds it comforting. It reminds them of something from the 1990s.

His presentation is only about 15% poison pills – “Democrats are the real racists” and “we want legal immigrants” are poison pills that boomers and boomer-minded younger people gobble up like a palm full of maybe one too many Xanax washed down with a glass of white wine.

The other 85% of the presentation is obviously fine and whatever. In the above clip from Monday morning, he’s talking about the latest spending bill from the Biden folks. He’s right that this is not an infrastructure bill, and it is completely insane.

However, the language being used is the same language that was being used to attack the spending bills of Barack Obama or Bill Clinton. This is not the same thing. This is a two trillion dollar omnibus of kook global warming nonsense, extremist racial agendas, and handouts to multinational corporations. Furthermore, unlike previous bills, this is entirely new money.

Biden is raising taxes. According to modern monetary theory, taxes are not used to directly pay for spending, they are instead a mechanism to offset inflation. But you can’t get $2 trillion in new taxes over 8 years, especially when you refuse to tax the corporate elite, literally at all. So whatever new taxes he manages to take in are not going to make a dent in the inflationary effects of this new money program.

So here’s what I think is happening: this old timey language of this old timey guy comforts people, and makes them feel like they are back in the Obama or Clinton era, when things were serious, but the crisis was not existential. This threat is, in fact, existential. That means: it threatens our very existence.

Kamala Harris, Joe Biden, John Kerry, Merrick Garland, Susan Rice, Ron Klain, Antony Blinken, Pete Buttigieg, Janet Yellen – this is a parasite circus. And they are directly serving banks, corporations and Jewish special interest groups.

None of these people running our government ever produced anything, and none of them have any concept of the value of things. They also have no reason to care about the outcome of this looting. They will ride off into the sunset as America burns.

This is a boring, civilizational scale version of Ocean’s 11, with ugly people who do not have sympathetic backstories.

This is the end of America. You can’t come back from this. They are looting the country and lighting it on fire on the way out.

Kennedy moves flawlessly from this existential destruction bill to some dumb claptrap about baseball.

The thing is: the bill is existential in its implications, but discussion of it is no more important than discussion of baseball politics in Georgia, because discussion of it has no effect (other than maybe to let people know what to do about this personal situation).

Tucker Carlson’s segment on this bill last week was technically much better, but he also falsely advertised the idea that it could somehow be stopped. His tone communicated that there is something here to be saved, somehow, which is just a lie.

Tucker, though the best of the worst, has become garbage, and he’s apparently on pills and stutters consistently.

He at least addresses the issue of hyperinflation. All of the jokes were really bad. I agree that in the face of doom, we should eat, drink and be merry, but we shouldn’t take pills and go on TV and make bad jokes.

He confuses the way Modern Monetary Theory works and says there’s no reason to raise taxes. You raise taxes, as I said, to offset inflation from the new money. Three hundred billion a year in taxes would take nearly 35 years to pay for the ten trillion+ (maybe even ++) we will have printed in 18 months. MMT says you can print more than you take in, and just keep the machine floating, but that cannot work after these lockdowns stopped the gears of the machine.

Which brings us to my single favorite old meme, which today has a special Easter egg for our wetback readers and people who paid attention in their four (4) years of high school Spanish, which references Pete Buttigieg’s claim that there are too many roads and they are causing hurricanes.

The ostensible plan, as Tucker alludes to, is to stash money in the stock market and crypto scams to keep it out of circulation. That is a stupid plan, and actually not a real plan.

This is all purposefully designed to destroy the American economy. Even if these Biden people are just looting, there are technocrats above them who are allowing them to loot like BLM (Tucker’s joke – only funny one) because they want the American economy to collapse.

(Some of these jokes Tucker makes are confusing, and I have to do a search to figure out if it’s an absurdist joke or a reference to something real. Is this surrealism? Or bad writing? Why did Tucker fire the writer who built his show for saying “nigger” on an anonymous forum? It’s been all downhill from there, I can tell you that.)

The solution here is to create an Old School McLaughlin Group style show with John Kennedy, Tucker Carlson, Me, Glenn Greenwald and Louis Farrakhan.

I would be McLaughlin and the rest of them would be the panelists. I would say: “Wrong! The answer is the Jews.”

This is literally the only way to save America.