March 10, 2020
The liberal media is blaming President Trump for the spread of the coronavirus in America. They are saying that he should have stopped entry of Chinese into America, because as always, the media is racist. They are also saying that he should have quarantined people exposed to the virus, because as always, the media doesn’t respect human rights.
Of course, those of us with a head on our shoulders know that unless he was going to be a racist who didn’t respect human rights, our great president had no ability to stop the spread of this virus. However, he does have the ability to fix it now that it has infected all of America, and we’re going to tell you how.
Provide More Visas to High Skilled Immigrants
In order to fight the coronavirus, we are going to need all the brainpower we can muster. That is why if Donald Trump wants to stop this virus dead in its tracks, he needs to provide millions of H1-B visas to the highest skilled people from India.
If Donald Trump can get at least 10 million more Indian immigrants into this country in the next month, these brilliant geniuses can make quick work of this virus by coming up with new and innovative ideas.
If there’s one thing you don’t need to think about when you’re infected with a deadly virus, it’s how you’re going to adjust your taxes. So if Donald Trump wants to hit the virus where it really hurts, he needs to offer a big tax cut to those who are trying to provide the most direct care for our disease victims: our great companies which are offering goods and services to people infected with this virus.
Comprehensive Immigration Reform
Right now, millions of true Americans are living in the shadows, ducking and covering their butts as they live in fear of being rounded up by ICE. What our great president needs to do if he wants to stop the spread of this disease is to provide a path to citizenship to the millions of true Americans who are struggling in the shadows.
Sanctions on Russia
Even as we struggle with the suffering of this disease, Russian hackers are trying to exploit our weaknesses and work to get Donald Trump reelected. Now is the time to send a direct message to Vladimir Putin and his KGB thugs that American democracy is not to be trifled with. We need to take this opportunity to increase the sanctions on Russia in order to ensure the safety of our free democracy elections. President Trump has been the strongest anti-Russian president in all of history, and during this time of great trials, he should be escalating tensions with Russia.
Release Black People From Prison
Donald Trump has been a great advocate for the black community, and has released many tens of thousands of black drug dealers from prison. However, in this time of crisis, we cannot afford to be wasting precious resources on oppressing black people by keeping them in prison for the victimless crime of selling crack. It’s the time now for President Trump to once again prove what a great advocate he is for the black community, and release all black people from prison once and for all.
Studies have shown that a fearful homosexual is one of the most likely people to spread the coronavirus. If Donald Trump wants to really take this virus on bareback, he needs to provide more incentives to third world countries to promote and assist homosexuals who are struggling with their rights under oppressive regimes.
Now is a great time for President Trump to pressure oppressive regimes into normalizing homosexual activity.
One thing that would really help as we battle the coronavirus is if Iran was a democracy, and its people were finally free from the oppressive regime of the mullahs. If Donald Trump can help to support democracy advocates in Iran fighting for their nation’s freedoms, they would be a great ally to help us battle the coronavirus.
Military Aid to Israel
As we struggle with our meaningless struggle against this virus, our greatest ally is under a direct threat from the Palestinians and Iran. In this time of crisis, it is the time to provide Israel with the tools it needs to fight the terrorist enemies which wish to see it wiped off the map. A stronger Israel means a stronger America, and if any time we ever needed a stronger America, it is when we are fighting the deadly coronavirus.
In this time of crisis, we need to focus on putting America first in all things. And that is why we must use this time of suffering to strengthen America.
People are dying from this disease, and now is not the time to listen to fascistic snowflakes. Now is the time to bolster our democracy and strengthen our American values.