How Concerned Should I be About Russia’s Young Hockey Beasts?

On a concern scale where mothers of preteen boys injecting them with puberty blockers is a zero and the coronavirus is a ten, how concerned should I be about Russia’s Young Hockey Beasts?

It’s a question I need the media to answer immediately, because I’m thinking it could be a 7-8 on the concern scale.


A controversial video of Russian youth hockey players being instructed in how to brawl was seemingly held up by a US outlet as an example of children learning toughness and competitiveness while American kids play video games.

Daily Caller writer David Hookstead posted an article about the viral video on Saturday, showing children in protective hockey gear trading heavy-gloved punches to the helmet as a coach yells instructions. At one point, the coach holds a student by the shirt and throws a slow-motion punch to the facemask to demonstrate the proper technique to the team.

The video was so controversial back in Russia that it prompted an investigation by the Russian Ice Hockey Federation (FHR). The coach targeted by the probe reportedly teaches a team of seven- and eight-year-olds at a school in Moscow. Some Russian observers, including sports commentators, were appalled by the fight training, while others said young players should be prepared for an integral part of the game.

The FHR made it clear where it stands, saying on Friday that the “Red Machine” national hockey program “explicitly prohibits” such training methods. It vowed to “strictly suppress” improper training methods at all Russian hockey schools.

But Hookstead saw an admirable side of the fighting workout – one to be envied – saying Russia is “trying to crank out some young hockey beasts.” He added, “American kids are busy playing video games and eating junk food, while the Russians are teaching their young how to beat the living hell out of each other.”

“We can’t get kids outside, and Russia is training its youth to brawl. If that’s not a concern to you as an American, then go ahead and take a lap because you need to wise up.”

Hookstead apparently struck a nerve with his readers, as some followers reacted by joking about the softness of American children and agreeing that teaching more toughness would be beneficial. “We’re gonna create more bathrooms for fake genders, eliminate competition of any kind and hand out free stuff to people who made bad choices,” one commenter said.

Yeah, it’s worse than that, boomer.

It’s so, so much worse.

It is in fact a Russian conspiracy.

It’s funny to think that you’d have to pay someone to support a country that shares their values – but that’s the way it works.

That’s a fact, jack.