HOLY MOLY: iPhone 12 has Flat Sides!!!!!11

Apple had an event unveiling the iPhone 12 on Tuesday. We were all left remembering that there was no iPhone 9, and thinking about how gross and gimmicky it was to call the iPhone 9 the iPhone X and say the X is for the ten year anniversary, then say that the X meant 10, as in the iPhone 10, and then follow it with an iPhone 11.

Furthermore, the iPhone X should have actually been the iPhone 8, since the iPhone 8 should have been the iPhone 7s, given that it was the same phone as the 7 with very minor interior improvements. But okay, they skipped the “s” – but skipping an entire number and never explaining it was just gross and weird. Very disrespectful.

The event itself was very gross. I don’t think it had a single heterosexual white male involved. Watching it, you wouldn’t know that white men existed.

These were the presenters:

These were actors, the alleged userbase:

They don’t appear to want white men using the phone – so I won’t.

I will say that physically, the phone looks better than the 6-11, because they’ve brought back the flat sides of the earlier phones.

Honestly, they never should have dropped those to begin with, as they are more comfortable, slip less and just look better.

This is the current line pricing structure:

The mini is I guess interesting, as it is a retro model. But they already had a retro model.

Alas, I’ve stopped using the products of this horrible company a long time ago, and phones in general now bore me.

The reality is this: the iPhone 12 does not have improved functionality, in any critical area, over the iPhone 6. The 6 was peak phone. This yearly release celebration thing is now absurd. It used to make sense to be excited about yearly phone releases, because there were improvements. I used to be interested in this. No more.

Listen: imagine if Rolex did a yearly watch release event, and had 12 different women and colored people explaining to you that whereas last year’s model was accurate to 1/100,000,000,000th of a second, this year’s model is accurate to 1/100,000,000,001th of a second, and acted like you should rush out and buy one.

What these phones are now is a conversation starter and a status symbol for peasants.

In reality, as I’ve explained many times, it’s not a real status symbol, because anyone can conceivably get together $1200. Having a $1200 phone is not like having a $120,000 car. The car proves you’ve got money to throw around. The only thing that you’re proving with the phone is that you wasted $1200, which makes you look like a status-seeking dupe. I refuse to believe that anyone ever got laid because they had an expensive phone.

The cellphone industry is dead. Someone is going to start making phones that are like Rolexes, in that they have an extremely long lifespan. I think some Asian company is going to come out with a $1000 phone with a five year full warranty, and then there will be a lifetime warranty.

The one improvement Apple did apparently add to the 12 is that the glass is allegedly 4 times stronger.

But of course, they could have done that at any time. There are all kinds of ultra-hard glasses that you can drop on a tile floor and not break. Apple didn’t use them because they wanted the phones to break so you would have to buy a knew one. The fact that they added it now (if it’s even true) is just a concession that people are sick of buying these phones every two years and want something that will last longer.

Because I like the square sides, and the hardened glass thing sounds good, I would consider buying one of these phones. Except I won’t, because Apple is a hateful, anti-white company. I’ll stick with the gooks, thanks.