April 12, 2018
The answer to gun violence is obviously bat violence.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so disappointed after reading a headline than with this story. I read a school was going to give bats to students in order to fight off school shooters, and I was like “wow, that’s pretty badass.”
Bats are vicious little bastards. They’d make short work of a shooter, for sure.
Then I read closer and realized they were discussing wooden baseball bats.
That was a pretty big blow.
But then I was like, “okay, so I guess wooden bats are still pretty cool, I guess. I mean, Negan could really ruin someone’s day with that thing…”
It’s not best bat, but still legit bat.
Spoiler warning: it only gets worse from here, fam.
President Donald Trump has suggested arming teachers with guns to protect schools in the wake of a spate of deadly shootings.
Others have suggested hardening campuses with bulletproof glass, metal detectors and extra security.
But one Pennsylvania superintendent is taking a slightly different tack — putting a mini-baseball bat in each classroom to give students and teachers a “last resort” way to fight in the event that they were confronted with danger.
Not just any bat – this is a “tactical bat.” It’s painted black. Sigh.
What the hell is this piece of crap?
How in God’s name are you going to wreck someone’s shit with that thing?
It doesn’t even have barbed wires on it.
Why not give them inflatable kiddie bats, while we’re at it?
It would do about the same amount of damage.
Superintendent William Hall, of the Millcreek School District, in Erie, admits some parents have had negative reactions to the idea — it struck at least one as a “joke” — but to him, “it’s more about the educational piece and that awareness — teaching our kids to be better prepared for these situations.“
You know why it struck people as a joke, Bill? Because it is.
This is what a real bat looks like:
The district recently revised its policies for what to do during a “hard lockdown,” Hall told ABC News today, surveyed the community about suggestions to make schools safer.
One survey response mentioned bats in case teachers or students need to fight back, Hall said.
The 18-inch wooden bats — a tool to be used as a “last resort” — were distributed on April 2 to classrooms and school offices where they are expected to be locked up during the day, Hall said.
This is all so retarded. There’s probably things lying around the average classroom that would make a better weapon than a “18 inch baseball bat.” Hell, just throwing a chair would probably do more damage.
If schools don’t want guns in the classrooms, they can just have crossbows or something.
You only got one shot, kids, so make it count.
But giving students cartoon-sized bats and pretending like they’re “prepared for the worst” is a cruel joke.
Ultimately, we need to make our country into a place where there aren’t these non-stop shootings going on. But as long as the Jews are setting our policies, the only safety measure that has any chance of being effective is to have armed people everywhere in these schools – including the students.