Following Apple, Samsung Skips Numbers, Calls the S11 the S20

Andrew Anglin
Daily Stormer
January 16, 2020

For Tim Cook, grooming teenage boys is a full-time job. Being the CEO of Apple is just a side gig.

Apple releasing the iPhone 7S as the iPhone 8 and at the same time releasing the iPhone 8 as the iPhone X was disgusting gimmickry which cheapened their brand. It didn’t become obvious how much so until they released the iPhone X3 as the “iPhone 11.” Up until that point, they could have argued that the X line was a new line of buttonless iPhones which would not be using the regular numbering.

But no.

Rim Cook decided that the “X” was the Roman numeral for “10” and that there simply wasn’t going to be any 9.

This also shows a total lack of forward thinking and corporate brand planning. Because the fact that they were willing to release the 7S as the 8 means that they could have just released the 6S as the 7. If they would have simply dropped the “S” series one model earlier, that would have allowed for the “X” to be the “10.”

(For you Android plebs and weeb weirdos, the “S” was added for the first time with the release of the 4S, and it had become a tradition to release every other model, which usually only had minor upgrades, as an “S.”)

Tim Cock can try to claim that the iPhone 11 is the iPhone 11 because the iPhone XR was the iPhone 10, but “X” is not the Roman numeral for “9.” “IX” is the Roman numeral for “9.”

(Allegedly, due to being called out on their gimmick-mongering, Apple will release an iPhone 8 with no button which will be called the iPhone 9. This information was just leaked this week, and has yet to be confirmed. But all that is is damage control – they are literally releasing a phone that fills no market simply because the gimmickry inspired rage in the consumer.)

This stupid thing was just the latest in the various stupid things that Apple has done since Tim Cooksucker took over after the lunatic marketing genius Steve Jobs had finished working himself to death.

Possibly most egregiously, Cooksucker led the company in a scandal where they were purposefully installing updates on older phones that would slow them down so people would go buy new phones. They also drained the batteries on purpose using software updates (while claiming that the slowing of the phones was to save the battery).

The media claimed that this was “planned obsolescence,” but that term isn’t even applicable. “Planned obsolescence” is a term for products that are designed to stop working after a certain amount of time. The obsolescence of these iPhones was not pre-planned – the phones, which were actually built to last, were sabotaged with software updates designed to make them obsolete because Apple’s only growth strategy is selling infinity phones. When they realized that people were updating their phones less regularly because there was no reason to update from the iPhone 6 – which was peak iPhone, every update after that has basically been cosmetic – they needed to come up with a makeshift plan to render the phones obsolete, and they did so by purposefully slowing them down. So instead of “planned obsolescence,” this should be called “makeshift sabotage for the purpose of product nullification.”

Apparently, the only country in the world where this sort of consumer abuse is illegal was France, because that is the only country whose government sued them over it.

Customers are now suing them over this racket in California, but it is likely that the courts will throw out the cases.

Basically, Apple after Steve Jobs is like Firefox after Brendan Eich (who was pushed out of the company for being a Christian). After Eich was forced to resign, Firefox still worked. But it slowly got crappier over time, until it became useless.

Of course, the situations are slightly different as web browsers need constant complex updates to meet the needs of the entire rapidly changing nature of the internet, whereas Apple’s closed software only needs security and aesthetic updates. The last phone that Steve Jobs worked on was the iPhone 6, which, as stated, was peak iPhone. There isn’t really anything to do now other than remove a button or a headphones jack, because there just isn’t any way to significantly improve the product. So the iPhone hasn’t become useless in the way that Firefox became useless. But the Apple brand is just becoming gross.

Following Apple’s weird “number jump” lead, Samsung decided to call the Galaxy S11 the S20.

However, this is less offensive than what Apple did, because at least they jumped from a multiple of ten to another multiple of ten.

Also, gimmickry is less offensive in general for an Android phone, because everyone knows that the only reason people buy Android phones (other than poverty) is that they are gimmick fetishists. So they’re really just catering to their own user base with more gimmicky bullshit.

Furthermore, Samsung is a gook company, and gooks don’t even have numbers. Just weird symbols.

They didn’t really jump from 10 to 20, they jumped from ship to eeship.

Which makes sense to me.