Florida: Fun Police Shut Down Party as Freakish War on Fun Continues

The fun police counter-party forces are escalating tensions against partiers with virulence and disgraceful practices.


Florida is opening up and its students are itching to party.

Police officers in Tallahassee, home of Florida State University’s sprawling campus, responded to more than a dozen calls for in reference to large crowds last weekend, according to a statement from the Tallahassee Police Department.

One gathering at an off-campus apartment complex on Dixie Drive involved more than 1,000 people gathered outside along with 700 vehicles, police said. Officers arriving just before midnight were able to safely disperse the crowds with assistance from a Leon County Sheriff’s Office helicopter. The apartment complex is about two miles from the FSU campus.

The massive party came as nearly 1,500 students have tested positive for the coronavirus since testing began August 2. Florida Gov. Rick DeSantis called for “some type of bill of rights for students” that would protect them from “draconian” punishments put in place to stop its spread, according to CNN affiliate WJXT.

“That’s what college kids do, and they’re at low risk,” DeSantis said about the partying students. “And I just think that we’ve got to be reasonable about this and really focus the efforts on where the most significant risk is.”

John Thrasher, FSU’s president, appealed to students in a letter last month to wear masks and stay six feet apart, admonishing those who hosted or attended large parties or gatherings.

“The choices you make don’t just impact you,” Thrasher said in the September 18 letter. “They affect your friends, families, professors, FSU staff and the Tallahassee community at large, as well as our ability to hold in-person classes and future events and provide campus services.”

Partiers continue to party honestly and with full integrity, but it is only a matter of time before the renegade partiers are forced to embrace radical methods of partying in order to keep the fun times rolling.

That is to say: the Partier’s Republican Army could be forced to embrace the ultra-hardcore tactics of La Viva Fiesta, La Fiesta de la Serpiente and El Mambo.

If El Mambo shows up and does the twist, you might be the one who gets it twisted.

A radical member of Viva La Fiesta, a hardcore partying group whose party techniques have been denounced by the Partier Republican Army.

The newly appointed head of the Partier’s Republican Army, Max Shaker, allegedly held a secret meeting with the leaders of La Fiesta de la Serpiente on Saturday. Insiders claim that the two discussed obtaining the Arma de Diversion Masiva from Brazil.

The time has come for the counter-party forces to withdraw from the scene and let the partiers party in peace.

Because God help us if these partiers start partying hard.