March 26, 2018
The mad man finally does it! He survived, too.
I gotta say, I didn’t expect the mad man to actually go through with this. He’s been talking about this for years.
But now it is done.
Scientists the world over were waiting with baited breath to finally learn the truth about the great question: is the earth flat?
He finally went up — just like the self-taught rocket man always pledged he would.
He came back down in one piece too — a little dinged up and his steam-powered vessel a little cracked up.
Still, mission accomplished for a guy more daredevil than engineer, who drew more comparisons to the cartoon character Wile E. Coyote from his critics than he did to iconic stunt man Evel Knievel.
“Mad” Mike Hughes, the rocket man who believes the Earth is flat, propelled himself about 1,875 feet into the air Saturday before a hard landing in the Mojave Desert. He told the Associated Press that outside of an aching back he’s fine after the launch near Amboy, Calif.
Well? Don’t keep this suspense up! We want to know.
Is the earth a pancake?
The most popular theory, of course.
Or is it a donut?
Also a solid contender.
Or, could it be a hollow shell – like a delicious chocolate Kinder Suprise?
These earths are starting to make me hungry…
“Relieved,” he said after being checked out by paramedics. “I’m tired of people saying I chickened out and didn’t build a rocket. I’m tired of that stuff. I manned up and did it.”
Okay, whatever, good job.
We need to know the results, now, Mike.
Hughes often sparred with his critics on social media leading up to the launch, through Facebook comments and a 12-minute video addressed to his doubters. He’s always maintained that his mission isn’t to prove the Earth is flat.
“Do I believe the Earth is shaped like a Frisbee? I believe it is,” he said. “Do I know for sure? No. That’s why I want to go up in space.”
That’s his project for down the road. He wants to build a “Rockoon,” a rocket that is carried into the atmosphere by a gas-filled balloon, then separated from the balloon and lit. This rocket would take Hughes about 68 miles up.
You’re telling me, after all this, that you haven’t figured anything out?
How are we supposed to save the White race if we can’t even prove the earth is flat?
What was the point of all this?
Mike is giving the entire world a serious case of flat-earth blue balls, and he needs to be held accountable for it.