Finally: Demonic Tumor John McCain to Allegedly Retire

Adrian Sol
Daily Stormer
July 3, 2018

Oh, God, let it be so.

John McCain, who is widely considered to be more tumor than man now, has been teasing America with promises of his imminent demise for months.

Yet, like a dumb Tinder skank or a Californian mechanic, he’s been flaking out on us.

And if there’s one thing I hate, it’s flakes.

Tell em’, Frank. 

It’s about time ol’ Johnny got his act together and died already. Or at least retired.

Now, we have a leak claiming that he’ll finally get out of politics. I don’t know if my heart still has the strength to withstand another disappointment, so I’ll forego the luxury of hope.

Santa Monica Observer:

Senator John McCain will resign his US Senate seat on July 4, 2018, says an aide who asked not to be named because he was not authorized to speak to the press.

The 4th of July? That’s like… tomorrow.


This better not be another fakeout.

“In the end, it was about Kennedy resigning from the Supreme Court,” said the aide. “Confirming a (SCOTUS) replacement before the election is considered in the interest of the national Republican party, so that it doesn’t become an issue for Dems to run on in every race,” said the aide, meaning every race for Senate or Congress.

Yeah, that sounds plausible enough.

Or at least, it would, if McCain wasn’t a filthy, traitorous scumbag. The idea that he would retire at a strategic moment to benefit the Republicans, and thus Trump and White America, is extremely dubious.

The Aide indicated that the Senator wanted to wait until June 1 to resign, so that his seat would not be on the ballot along with retiring Jeff Flake. Republican Gov. Doug Ducey will appoint a Senator to serve until the 2020 election.

So if this source is legit, then McCain is delaying his retirement by a few days to prevent the election of his replacement in Arizona.

There is basically zero chance that a Democrat would be elected in his place. So really, it boils down to him wanting to prevent the people of Arizona from choosing his replacement, instead preferring Doug Ducey to appoint the next Senator.

My inner cynic expected Doug Ducey to be some kind of neocon shill. But a quick look at his record shows him to be actually a pretty solid guy.

Moreover, he was on team Trump from early on.

So, huh, I guess this is good?

That’s very much out of character for McCain.

The aide said that Ducey has quietly offered McCain’s seat to Cindy, but the 64 year old wife of Senator John McCain has made no decision as of yet. “Understandably, she doesn’t want to think about it,” he added.


He’d appoint McCain’s wife.

That makes more sense. Presumably, he will transfer his demonic powers to her before his death, in the hopes that she will continue his dark work.

Like this scene in Yu Yu Hakusho, but evil.

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) was disgnosed with a brain tumor in July, 2017. The 81-year-old symbol of “never-Trump” Republicans, has not been seen in the US Capitol since December.

Rumor goes he has his tumor remain behind to vote on his behalf.

In any case, we’ll know tomorrow.

But if this is true, it’s vitally important we can prepare in advance. You’ll all definitely want to buy a bottle of good champagne, maybe invite some friends over for a celebration.


Listening to that “Flakes” song by Frank Zappa reminded me how badass his album “Sheik Yerbouti” is. I know we often rip on old boomer rock here at the Daily Stormer, but you have to make an exception for an album containing songs like “Jewish Princess.”