FBI is Working Double Time to Track Secret Chinese Messages

In this time of great yellow peril, the FBI has turned into an old school band of gook-hunters, hot on the trail of the most dastardly and most slant-eyed gooks of all. They’re true cowboys – but this ain’t no rodeo, partner.

You might think that your problem is all of these blacks and white women rioting and destroying everything.

In fact, however, that isn’t a problem at all. Your problem is something much weirder, more vague, and absolutely insidious: the Chinese.

In fact, the Chinese are probably behind white racism, or maybe they’re behind the black uprising? Who knows. But we do know that they’re coming for us, and we need to think about them constantly, instead of the things that are happening right in front of us.


Of the FBI’s nearly 5,000 active counterintelligence investigations across the country, “almost half” are related to China, with the bureau opening a new China-related counterintelligence case every 10 hours, according to FBI Director Chris Wray.

Wray, speaking Tuesday at an event hosted by the Hudson Institute, said China is escalating improper and sometimes illegal activity in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, using a mix of sophisticated cyber-intrusion techniques and the corruption of “trusted insiders” to siphon America’s intellectual property.

Specifically, Wray said China is employing economic espionage to target American aviation, robotics, agriculture and health care sectors—part of a broader plan to subvert American economic dominance that has resulted in a 1,300% increase in economic espionage cases linked to China over the past decade. Already, Wray said the American people are victims “of what amounts to Chinese theft on a scale so massive that it represents one of the largest transfers of wealth in human history” and poses a major national security threat.

“China is engaged in a whole-of-state effort to become the world’s only superpower by any means necessary,” Wray said. “The greatest long-term threat to our nation’s information and intellectual property, and to our economic vitality, is the counterintelligence and economic espionage threat from China. It’s a threat to our economic security—and by extension, to our national security.”

To accomplish its ends, Wray said China uses “a diverse range of sophisticated techniques,” from using brutish cyber-intrusion tactics to penetrate and steal trade secrets to the corruption and bribing of “trusted insiders.” Wray cited several high-profile examples of each, including the hacking of credit reporting agency Equifax in 2017 by four Chinese military officers. The FBI charged the hackers—members of the People’s Liberation Army and Chinese intelligence agencies—in 2020, only after they made off with trade secrets and personal data on 145 million Americans.

However, Wray said China is making use of less overt forms of influence as well, such as its talent recruitment programs, wherein China attempts to “entice scientists to secretly bring our knowledge and innovation back to China.” Wray pointed to scientist Jongjin Tan, a 36-year-old Chinese national and lawful permanent U.S. resident, as a clear example of this sort of influence. In November 2019, Tan pleaded guilty to stealing proprietary information worth more than $1 billion from his employer, a U.S. petroleum company. Tan was recruited by China after he joined China’s Thousand Talents Program.

As you can all see, this is some extremely serious horseshit.

I hope all of you people who were asking why the FBI wasn’t arresting all these people for rioting, looting, pillaging and tearing down our statues are taking a step back and realizing what fools you truly were.

The FBI didn’t have any time to arrest people destroying our country because they were focused on hunting the much more elusive and confusing threat: secret messages sent by the ubiquitous gook menace.

Now it’s time for you, racist, to apologize to the FBI for ever doubting them. We might not have a country left after this mob is through destroying everything, but how would you like it if your burned out husk of a destroyed country was infiltrated by Chinese hackers?