January 18, 2020
This story immediately raises a lot of questions. Firstly, how hard could it have been to capture this guy? It’s not like he was on the move at all times – because otherwise he wouldn’t be so fat. Clearly, the nibba was just sitting in the same place for like 5 years in a row.
Congrats on “catching” him, I guess.
A top ISIS leader dubbed ‘Jabba the Hutt’ has been captured in Mosul – but proved so obese that removing him from his bolthole required the assistance of a truck, drawing a deluge of memes and jokes at his expense on social media.
Shifa Al-Nima, also known as Abu Abdul-Bari, was seized by an Iraqi SWAT team in western Mosul on Thursday, with security forces saying he was responsible for a fatwa to bomb the city’s Mosque of Prophet Yunus (Jonah). The historic religious site was destroyed by Islamic State (IS, formerly ISIS) in 2014 after they took over Mosul.
Jabba the Hutt is OK as far as a nickname goes. But clearly, we could have done a lot better with this. Someone dropped the ball here. And while the “Big Chungus” meme has always struck me as forced and gay, I gotta admit that if there was ever a situation to use it – well, this would be it.
Alternatively, “Big Nibba” could be brought back and re-dubbed “Big ISIS Nibba” or something like that. Although, the OG Big Nibba might be dead now from obesity, and we can’t be caught disrespectin’ when we memeing.
Calling the ISIS mufti Jabba the Hutt instead of Big Chungus or Big Nibba is clearly a missed opportunity.
They also said the preacher issued fatwas for the execution of scholars and clerics who refused to pledge allegiance to ISIS, and incited people against the security forces. The hefty mufti reportedly weighed around 300lbs at the time of his capture – and was so heavy that he couldn’t be taken away by car, and instead had to be loaded into the back of a flat-bed truck.
Issuing “fat-was” indeed.
Puns aside, this gargantuan nibba was clearly just shitposting on WhatsApp and Twitter with his ISIS friends for 5 years straight – ordering people’s deaths in-between snack sessions. In other words, this monster of a man was just a NEET with an internet following who didn’t have to face internet censorship.
Never forget: ISIS has literally been allowed to get away with everything since the moment that the Jews created it and the CIA started sending cash their way. Starving Islamic nomad-warriors in the desert?
Nah, more like fat shitposting glowniggers propped up by the Jews.