Earth to Release Methane Gas and Make It Even Hotter Out This Bitch

It’s not just humans that are warming this bitch up – the planet itself is conspiring to warm itself up using “warming gasses”!

This is the equivalent to ecological chronic masturbation!

Someone has to stop it!

The Guardian:

Scientists have found evidence that frozen methane deposits in the Arctic Ocean – known as the “sleeping giants of the carbon cycle” – have started to be released over a large area of the continental slope off the East Siberian coast, the Guardian can reveal.

High levels of the potent greenhouse gas have been detected down to a depth of 350 metres in the Laptev Sea near Russia, prompting concern among researchers that a new climate feedback loop may have been triggered that could accelerate the pace of global heating.

The slope sediments in the Arctic contain a huge quantity of frozen methane and other gases – known as hydrates. Methane has a warming effect 80 times stronger than carbon dioxide over 20 years. The United States Geological Survey has previously listed Arctic hydrate destabilisation as one of four most serious scenarios for abrupt climate change.

The international team onboard the Russian research ship R/V Akademik Keldysh said most of the bubbles were currently dissolving in the water but methane levels at the surface were four to eight times what would normally be expected and this was venting into the atmosphere.

“At this moment, there is unlikely to be any major impact on global warming, but the point is that this process has now been triggered. This East Siberian slope methane hydrate system has been perturbed and the process will be ongoing,” said the Swedish scientist Örjan Gustafsson, of Stockholm University, in a satellite call from the vessel.

We’d better figure out a way to cool this bitch off.

If this bitch keeps heating up, it’s gonna be warm all the time, and even just sitting around, you’re going to start sweating heavily.

Fat people will be having heart attacks walking up stairs at a rate never seen before.

Hot coffee is going to be too hot for you – you’re going to have to start drinking iced coffee, even though it’s really gross and tastes bitter and crappy. The only way to make it not bitter is to add a bunch of sugar and foam and crap.

And guess what – all that sugar and creamy foam and HFCS syrup crap will make you fatter and more likely to die from the hotness.

That is the fate that awaits you if this bitch gets too hot.

Let’s review:

  • Sweating all the time
  • Fat people dying from going up stairs
  • Iced coffee

Those are the threats that Dick Cheney and the oil barons are trying to cover up.

Do you really want to have to change your shirt twice a day because you’re sweating so hard?

What about your fatty friends? You want them to die?

Do you understand how bitter iced coffee is?

Do you really want to have to learn the secrets to a perfect vanilla iced coffee?

Stop the weather from changing or the weather is going to change you.