March 17, 2020
When a real happening hits, it rocks you like a hurricane.
I hope you’ve got enough toilet paper to last you until the 4 horsemen arrive.
You’re gonna need it.
First Thing’s First
Me and the Hot Boys just cut this track about Coronachan.
I think you might enjoy it.
Previously on “DOOM TANK”…
- Trump Finally Talking About Quarantining Coronavirus
- Trump Administration Says Russian Hackers are Texting People Prank Messages About Coronavirus!
- Stock Market Collapses, President Trump Says We Might be in a Recession
- Retard Who Ran Dumb Hand Sanitizer Price Gouging Scheme Being Investigated
- Federal Reserve Cuts Interest Rates to Near Zero But Stock Market Crashes Anyway
- Top Infectious Disease Official Says America May Need a Total Lockdown
And now, we continue with today’s episode of “DOOM TANK”…
You Should Have Prepped
I told you all to prep.
— Virologist MILKMAN 🥛 (@SchuhkartonBank) March 16, 2020
But no one ever listens to me.
Shutting Down the Election
Here’s how Bernie can still win…
As such, @DrAmyActon will order the polls closed as a health emergency. While the polls will be closed tomorrow, Secretary of State @FrankLaRose will seek a remedy through the courts to extend voting options so that every voter who wants to vote will be granted that opportunity.
— Governor Mike DeWine (@GovMikeDeWine) March 17, 2020
This was predictable, but it’s still a bit jarring.
If democracy can’t withstand a virus, maybe we should cancel it?
Worse Than the Great Depression
The numbers are in.
I don’t know what the stock market is, but I know that if it goes down, you have to make the money machine go “brrr.”
And I know that it can only “brrrr” so hard.
San Francisco Orders Population to Shelter in Place
Imagine a disease spreading rapidly in San Francisco.
This is going to be the whole country in a few days.
Residents in six San Francisco Bay Area counties will be confined to their homes for the next three weeks under a new shelter-in-place order aimed at curbing the spread of the coronavirus.
The mandate, which goes into effect Tuesday and will affect nearly 7 million people, orders residents to avoid unnecessary travel and only leave their homes for food, medicine and exercise, according to county officials who made the announcement.
It affects the counties of San Francisco, Marin, Santa Clara, San Mateo, Alameda and Contra Costa, as well as the city of Berkeley.
“I know today’s order is a radical step. It has to be. We need to act now, all of us, to protect the public health,” said Dr. Grant Colfax, director of the San Francisco Department of Public Health.
“We must move aggressively and immediately,” said San Jose Mayor Sam Liccardo, whose city is the epicenter of Bay Area outbreak. “History will not forgive us for waiting an hour more.”
This is what I originally said should have been done in the infected areas, and then across the entire country when the government let it spread across the entire country.
No one listened.
New York and LA Shut Everything Down
Some cities, with less experience with the spread of deadly diseases, are going to try something a little bit lighter.
New York’s mayor has ordered restaurants, bars and cafes to only sell food on a take-away or delivery basis as the city battles to halt the spread of COVID-19.
Bill de Blasio also moved to close nightclubs, cinemas, theatres and concert venues.
In a written statement, he said: “This is not a decision I make lightly.
“These places are part of the heart and soul of our city. They are part of what it means to be a New Yorker. But our city is facing an unprecedented threat, and we must respond with a wartime mentality.”
Similarly in Los Angeles, Mayor Eric Garcetti issued an executive order Sunday to close bars, nightclubs, entertainment venues and gyms until at least 31 March.
Mr Garcetti said restaurants will be closed to the public but will be allowed to do takeout and delivery. Supermarkets will remain open.
Of course, that won’t work.
Nothing will actually work at this point unless you shut down all entry points to the cities, or shut down the entire country with a full quarantine.
Trump is talking about doing that, but you know, probably won’t?
Anyway, it would just lead to a total New World Order FEMA camp police state, haha, am I right?
White Women are Magic
Aryan princesses are taking the opportunity of Coronavirus to really show a true love for their people, the Aryan race.
You really gotta respect these princesses.
Please RT this so people can know how to properly be sanitary on the airplane 🥰😅 pic.twitter.com/x7GX9b4Lxc
— Ava Louise (ig @avalouiise) (@realavalouiise) March 14, 2020
If you don’t, you have to go to prison for rape.
LA Stops Arresting People, Releases Criminals from Jail
Now this is thinking with your brain, lad.
The Los Angeles County sheriff has reduced the jail population by more than 600 people and is asking officers to cite and release offenders when possible to protect inmates from the coronavirus.
As of Monday morning, the inmate population had been reduced from 17,076 to 16,459 since the end of February, in part by granting early release to those with less than 30 days on their sentences.
“Our population within the jail is a vulnerable population just by virtue of who they are and where they’re located,” Sheriff Alex Villanueva said Monday at a news conference. “So, we’re protecting that population from potential exposure.”
Arrests have dropped from around 300 a day to around 60 a day, the sheriff said Monday. The aggregate bond amount for people to be booked also went up from $25,000 to $50,000, with those under that amount being cited, he said.
I’m sure nothing could go wrong there.
Coronachan will patrol the streets herself.
Relief Bill Can’t Include Paid Leave
We gave $1.5 trillion to the satanic Jew bankers.
Sorry, we can’t print the money fast enough for your sick leave. Also, that would be communism. And we can’t force businesses to give it to you. That’s communism also.
The Senate is expected this week to pass a coronavirus relief bill that has President Trump’s approval, but it could potentially be held up a bit.
The House of Representatives early on Saturday passed an economic relief bill negotiated between House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin in response to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. Trump said he “fully” supports the bill, which provides free coronavirus testing and requires companies with fewer than 500 employees provide paid sick leave.
The Senate is expected to pass the coronavirus bill after Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) canceled a planned recess. But Bloomberg reports that action could be delayed “up to several days” as the bill is “running into resistance from some Republicans worried about the impact of a temporary paid sick leave provision on small businesses.”
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wisc.) is one of those senators objecting paid sick leave provision, saying he hopes the Senate passes a “bill that does more good than harm — or, if it won’t, pass nothing at all.” Bloomberg notes that “Senate rules allow any one senator to delay a final vote for days.” Mnuchin said over the weekend said “we’ll work with the Senate on whatever minor changes we need.”
City and State Officials Rage at Trump for Not Doing Anything
Yeah I mean, I do tend to defend Trump from Democrats, but he really didn’t do anything.
It would have been the easiest thing in the world to close the border with China. And yes, these same people would have called him a racist, but we wouldn’t be in the middle of an apocalypse.
President Trump told a group of governors on Monday to “try getting [emergency equipment] yourselves,” the New York Times first reported, after several state and city officials blasted his administration’s slow response to the coronavirus pandemic, as the number of cases and deaths nationwide continues to climb.
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who said Wednesday that coronavirus would be “the public health version of Hurricane Katrina” and slammed the Centers for Disease Control’s initial response as “absurd and nonsensical,” wrote in a Sunday New York Times op-ed that, “Every country affected by this crisis has handled it on a national basis. The United States has not.”
New York City mayor and former Democratic presidential candidate Bill de Blasio on February 28 described the federal response as “malpractice,” and in a Sunday CNN appearance said the administration was playing “catch up” with the virus.
J.B. Pritzker, the governor of Illinois, tweeted on Saturday that the “federal government needs to get its s@#t [sic] together NOW” after travelers were met with four-hour long lines for medical screening at O’Hare International Airport after the Trump administration enacted a 30-day travel ban from Europe.
Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot tweeted at Trump that “we have no time for your incompetence” due to O’Hare’s airport chaos; Mayor Ron Nirenberg of San Antonio, Texas, on March 9 described the Trump administration’s lack of a coordinated response as “simply stunning.”
Yeah, no shit kike.
Why do you think they call him “#1 Stunna”?
Get on my level.
Former New York City mayor and Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg funded an ad in February for his now-defunct campaign attacking Trump over coronavirus, in which he says “There’s nobody here to figure out what the hell we should be doing.”
Despite Trump calling Washington State Gov. Jay Inslee a “snake,” on March 6 and claiming that he told Vice President Mike Pence to not be complementary of the governor, Inslee brushed off the slight, calling it “background noise,” Seattle mayor Jenny Durkan said later that day the administration’s “name-calling and making inaccurate off-the-cuff comments [was] simply irresponsible.”
Maybe Trump should just declare martial law and… send all these people to FEMA camps?
Can he do that?
It’s Finally Here…
I told you all you were going to die, and you thought I was joking.
Well, I only ever say the things I truly mean in a joking way – it’s called “Sad Clown Disorder.”
I just hope you’ve all got enough toilet paper.
There would be nothing worse than dying without poop having been smeared all over your buttocks with a dry piece of paper.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m being sarcastic.
Not about you dying, but about the toilet paper thing.
Seriously, you should have followed my hygiene advice and got yourself one of these:
Installing it costs like $30.
If you’d taken that one single piece of advice, you wouldn’t be in this situation.
I mean, you would still die, but you wouldn’t die with a dirty ass.