Did You Hear About the Shiteater Who Killed His Son to Hide the Evidence of Eating Shit?

This is a story that has been going on for a while, which I think is important for you to know about.

International Business Times, June 23:

A Colorado father has been accused of killing his 13-year-old son after the boy found “disturbing” photos of him eating feces from a diaper while wearing women’s underwear, prosecutors allege. Mark Redwine, 59, who killed his son, Dylan Redwine, eight years back in 2013, is finally facing trial after his case was halted due to unnecessary delays.

Redwine’s trial began Monday with opening statements by prosecutors who claim he flew into a rage when his teenage son, Dylan, may have mentioned or shown him the disturbing photos the night he was killed, according to the Denver Post. If proved guilty, Redwine could end up serving years in prison.

I lol’d at “halted due to unnecessary delays.”

What kind of journalism is this?

It has to be written by a bot.

Frankly, the bots are on the same level as Indians though, and IBT is hilted down with pajeets.

Also, regarding the bots: these companies are not exactly straightforward about their bot use, so we really don’t know to what extent they’re using them. I wish there was an open source newsbot, because I would mod it myself and it would be sooooo good. Then I’d just retire.

By the way, my newsbot would be most similar to Topman.

By the way, I tried to play the original Megaman game a few months ago, and it was literally impossible. Like actually the hardest thing totally ever. And as I posted in my Steam Summer Sale picks article last week, I eat modern 2D sidescrollers/platformers for breakfast. (Also, I can’t believe I forgot to put Katana Zero in that list – BUY THAT GAME, IT’S ONLY $8.99.)

My friend Maxamaximilis was giving me shit for hardly making it through the first level of Megaman, and I told him that I would give him a week to prepare and if he could beat Megaman 1 without using a continue I would give him $500. He declined. I didn’t even say he had to give me anything if he lost as his humiliation would be enough for me.

Furthermore, my newsbot also wouldn’t complain about so-called “abuse” like everyone who has ever worked at Hoax Watch has done (except our glorious sysop, who has never done anything wrong, and therefore has never been “verbally abused” – which, by the way, is not a real concept.)

Anyway, back to this guy who eats shit…

Silencing His Son

During the trial, which is being held at La Plata County court, prosecutors said that Dyland disappeared in November 2012 in the Vallecito area near Durango over Thanksgiving. Daylan had somehow seen his father eating faces from a diaper while wearing women’s underwear and had either confronted him or was caught.

“A damaged relationship, exposed with compromising photographs, photographs in the hands of a 13-year-old who is disgusted by it, which triggered a violent rage in the defendant,” prosecutor Fred Johnson said.

He then disappeared from his home during a court-ordered visit at the residence over Thanksgiving 2012. Dylan’s remains were not discovered until 2013 and 2014, the Denver Post reported.

Redwine had initially pleaded guilty but was arrested after a grand jury indicted him in July 2017 on charges of second-degree murder and child abuse resulting in death. Johnson added that the prosecution plans to prove Dylan knew about the photographs and made him uncomfortable to be around his father.

The key lessons here:

  • Don’t eat shit
  • If you do eat shit, don’t film yourself doing it
  • If you do film yourself eating shit, hide the videos really well
  • If you don’t properly hide the videos of yourself eating shit and your son finds them, don’t kill him
  • Just say you’ll double his allowance if he keeps quiet about the shit-eating videos
  • Make sure you get any copies he has, and if he tries to spill the beans, just say he’s lying

I almost feel like I’m writing an “advice for black people in the community” article here.

But of course, there are people who are legitimately mentally ill, and if your fetish is shit-eating, you are probably one of those people. I mean, that is kind of the worst thing. I guess (legitimate, not consent-oriented) pedophilia is the worst, because it hurts the children. But eating shit is way up at the top there.

Honestly, it’s probably better the son is dead, because shiteaters shouldn’t be allowed to breed.

Funny Story

I think we wrote about this years ago. Anyway, I remember it. I also remember that the first time I saw the headline, I thought the father found out about his son eating shit and then killed him because he was a shiteater.

I don’t know which way is more tragic, but both are kinda funny. In a dark way, of course.

I have some sympathy for human tragedy. I just don’t think it’s all a big joke. I’m not some Joker figure.

Generally though, I do think people dying is funny.