September 19, 2019
We’re looking at a Red Dead Redemption II (upcoming zombie mod) scenario across the West Coast, in pretty much every single major city from Seattle on down to San Diego.
I hope everyone out there has stocked up on enough gamer girl bathwater – among other essential supplies – to last them in case SHTF. Greenbacks are going to be worthless, and this is the only thing you’re going to be able to buy your fentanyl with.
If I were you, I’d load up on such essentials now, while the zombie epidemic is still in its early stages.
San Francisco business owner Gilles DeSaulniers told Tucker Carlson that he’s been bitten twice by homeless people.
DeSaulniers appeared on Carlson’s Fox News show Tuesday to describe the incidents and explain why he’s now considering leaving the city.
Carlson introduced DeSaulniers, saying, “He is thinking about abandoning San Francisco after he was bitten twice. He joins us tonight. Thanks very much for coming on. It’s hard to believe this is even real. It’s like a ‘Dawn of the Dead’ scene. You were bitten. Tell us the circumstances.”
“Well, the last event, there was a guy who came in, and we asked him to leave,” DeSaulniers began. “He left and he came back 15 minutes later to harass the employee, and he hit somebody and it got really violent. Some of the staff subdued him and try to call the police to have them intervene and arrest him. In the process, he decided to bite me. One of the statements he made was, ‘why are you even calling the police? They are not going to do anything. They are just going to let me go.’”
DeSaulniers said that he stood his ground anyway, placing the man under citizen’s arrest and waiting for the police to arrive.
“It happened four months before as well,” he continued. “A woman came in who was drugged out, who wasn’t making any sense. We just wanted her to exit the store and she just grabbed my arm and bid on it. I was finally able to free my arm and took her out of the store and forgot about it. But, the second time —”
“She was hanging on your arm by her teeth,” Carlson responded. “That’s horrifying.”
“She was not there in her mind, you know?” DeSaulniers added.
Carlson asked whether he had worried that he might get sick from either of the bites, but DeSaulniers seemed confident that neither had done that kind of damage. “Well, I had a sweater over it. So, you know, I looked at it right away and I put hydrogen peroxide on it. She didn’t break my skin through my clothing, so I figured it was okay,” he said. “I feel okay, and it’s been several months now for that first one. The second one, there is some muscle damage to the tissue inside. The bite is very, very strong, you know.”
“That’s hard to believe this is America,” Carlson went on. “You have public bathrooms in your store?”
“Yes, and they are also used by the drugged homeless people. They do drugs in the bathroom. They sell drugs in the bathrooms. I found a woman in there with a needle in her leg passed out, turning blue. I had to stop what I was doing and call 911 and call the police,” said DeSaulniers. “You know, that occupies your time. This basically happens every 15-20 minutes. Someone from the street will, drugged out, will come in and create havoc.”
Obviously, it would be racist, sexist, and downright fascist to just shut down the public bathroom and by doing so, deprive the zombies of their feeding grounds.
Although the Boomer’s story is a real tear-jerker for sure, I can’t help but feel that this army of mutant/zombies are all actually a political force to be reckoned with. All it takes is an enterprising leader to rally the zombies under his banner and use them to overthrow the federal government.
Virgin survivalists will retreat to the woods to eke out a living munching on squirrels, while me and my band of loyal acolytes will face the zombies head-on and rally them to storm the city and lay waste to the fat cats living it up along the bay.
Will you join me, comrades?
Together, let us feast on the flesh of the rich, the decadent and the corrupt!
Help me take this hecking city, my loyal zombie hordes!