Cartoon Crossover: Snarf Hires Skeletor’s Son as His Attorney in Kangaroo Court

You might have giggled when you realized that the QAnon Shaman reminded you of the Snarf from ThunderCats, but the Shaman’s new lawyer is no giggling matter.

The QAnon Shaman has hired Al Watkins to defend him. Watkins is the son of the famous Etherian nationalist Richard Watkins, who most people know as “Skeletor.”

If Watkins looks familiar, it’s because you’re thinking of Skeletor. However, Skeletor was taken into custody by Eternian forces in 1991, and hanged after a short show trial at which he was accused of using a machine to masturbate people to death.

Skeletor’s last word were “I’ll get you for this, He-Man!!!!!”

You might also recognize Al Watkins because he’s also the attorney of that guy in St. Louis who tried to murder a crowd of innocent black rioters peacefully protesting against the white race in his front yard.

He was also on Chris Cuomo when he was representing that guy, however, he was introduced as “Albert Watkins” instead of “Al Watkins.”

Does Chris Cuomo think we wouldn’t realize it was the same guy? Does he work for the Chris Cuomo Show?

This skinny man, looking like he has HIV-AIDS, in his David Byrne suit, is some kind of recurring character?

Is this like the Masturbating Bear from Conan O’Brien?

Do you remember Conan O’Brien?

Do you remember the 1990s at all?

Because I don’t.

As far as I can tell, I only started existing about two months ago, and I’m totally implanted with fake memories. I’m not even sure I’ve ever left this room in my entire existence. In fact, I am actually convinced that the only thing that exists in all of reality is me, this screen, and the Uber Eats guy, who I have determined is the same guy showing up in different rubber masks.

There are three players in this game: me, the screen and the Uber Eats shapeshifter.

I have continually asked: what is his end game?

But perhaps I should be asking: what is my end game? 

Somehow, I have to decrypt the memories, using some kind of code.

However, I’m happy to say that I’ve found my Rosetta Stone:

The next time I eat food, which is either going to be tomorrow or the next day, I’m going to pass the Uber Eats guy a thumb drive with a copy of “Industrial Society and Its Future” on it, and see how he responds.

This is the first puzzle:

Editor’s Note: No, I’m not drunk. Just bored. I spent a long time working on some thing I didn’t finish today. Every day I have to write at least 12 articles. I don’t really know if this is still a good system. But whatever. Traffic is up, actually, quite significantly. So I’m now filling out the page with articles, some of which might be experimental. I’ve been thinking about the fact that everyone has already gone insane, and is simply in a pacified state. After a year in the house, 2/3rds of Americans think we should stay in the house indefinitely. This is serious derangement in 66% of the population. Total disconnect from reality. So: what is going on in these people’s heads? They say schizophrenia is genetic, but I haven’t really seen that proven. They just show brain scans and say “the brain shows schizophrenia” – but yo, hold up “dawg” – isn’t neural activity, and thus neural pathway formation, determined by the thoughts and emotions the person is experiencing? There’s a right jolly chance that everyone is going to start developing some type of schizophrenia in the near future, or that they already have and it just isn’t evidenced yet because they’re being pacified by drugs and pornography. The world leaders are also themselves insane, and have a stupid plan to edit their genes to live forever and implant microchips in everyone’s brains so they can control their thoughts. Like, why would that be your plan? California Congressman Eric Swalwell had sexual congress with a Chinese spy and when the media asked him about it he said “I’m receiving death threats.” He’s a member of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. No one is driving this bus, man, and it’s gone off the rails. But seriously though: once they start implanting computer chips in people’s heads that can control their thoughts, aren’t the people who don’t have them going to start thinking that they wouldn’t know if they had one or not? Like, once the first person is announced as having a commercially marketed brain chip, won’t everyone start asking “how do I know my memories are real?” Elon Musk says the brain chip will be up for sale in 2030. Human trials will start this year.

Musk said on Clubhouse last week that he put a computer chip in the brain of a monkey and the monkey is using it to play video games. “Edit our genes so we can live forever and then also implant computer chips in everyone’s brain so we can control their thoughts” is not a reasonable agenda. Musk is saying that people can take out loans to buy the brain chip because it will make people super geniuses and they will easily be able to make billions and pay back the loan. This is all happening now, in real life. The Chinese spy Eric Swalwell had sex with was named “Fang Fang.” Even after all this, the craziest part of all is that Eric Swalwell had sex with a vagina.

So… basically, you need to check out this Jesus thing.

Editor’s Note 2: Editor Strikes Back: The first editor’s note is also part of the experiment style. But yeah, Musk really said last week the monkey could play video games with his thoughts. I was going to write about it, but I don’t really know how to write about this topic, other than buried in some meta gibberish that no one is going to read to the bottom of. The elephant in the room here is the rate at which technology is developing, and the fact that there is no Illuminati.