May 28, 2017
How fucking hard is it to make a waterslide that doesn’t launch people onto concrete?
A third of the six slides at the city’s new $43 million water park, The Wave, was closed Sunday as city and state officials investigate after a boy was launched from a three-story water slide, landing on the concrete exit next to the ride, at the park’s grand opening Saturday.
The slide from which the boy fell, which is called the Emerald Plunge, as well as a similar slide adjacent to it called the Dublin Screamer remained closed on Sunday as staff from the city of Dublin and California’s Division of Occupational Safety and Health Administration try to determine what caused the boy to fly off the slide and assess the safety of all the park’s slides.
That was going to be the name of my folk-rock band.
Dublin Assistant City Manager Linda Smith said on Sunday that the park closed a third slide, called the Riptide Rider, because staff was re-examining that ride’s water pressure. The park has a total of six slides. Three of them were available for public use on Sunday.
Holy shit, you want to talk about “no such thing as a coincidence” – “Riptide Rider” was my second choice for the name of my folk-rock band!
There is an order to the universe – something to do with psychic electricity – which you all need to be aware of and pay attention to.
Meme magic is real, and it is a spiritual phenomenon known to the ancients that is being given X-TREME power by the internet.
I want to write a book about this.
Instead I’m stuck writing shitty news stories about kids getting launched off water slides.
The description of the Riptide Rider slide on the park’s website reads: “Get ready to fly and swirl down seven stories of fun. These slides’ unique designs are fast and thrilling with unexpected steep drops and sharp turns. The translucent flume gives spectators a great view of riders zipping through the slide.”
The 10-year-old boy who was thrown from the Emerald Plunge slide on Saturday was “just shaken up” and had a scratched shoulder that was treated by first-aid workers, a park spokeswoman said after the incident was witnessed and recorded by a Bay Area News Group photographer covering the opening of the park. The photographer saw scratches on the boy’s back. The boy walked away from the incident and was helped by a lifeguard and city employee shortly after noon Saturday.
The Emerald Plunge is an open water slide that plunges at an 80-degree angle before flattening out at the bottom. Park officials said they had contacted slide manufacturer WhiteWater West Industries as well as Cal-OSHA to assess the slide.
The main issue with not having any children is not having an excuse to go to water parks.
Or for that matter to go canoing, play laser tag, go to the rollerskating rink, ride go-karts or all sorts of other fun things which as an adult, you can only do when you have children.
I hate feminism and the Jews so, so much.
The Jews turned our women from this:
And that’s why you can’t go to the waterpark.
We need WHITE SHARIA and we need it quickly.