California: Alleged Vaginal Mother Fights Off Mountain Lion That Attacked Son!

This seems like feminist propaganda.

Are we sure this was a vaginal mother, and not one of those newfangled mothers with a penis?

I mean, it is Southern California.

There are a lot of mothers with penises in those parts.

The Guardian:

A mountain lion that attacked a 5-year-old boy in southern California has been shot and killed by a wildlife officer, authorities say.

The 65-pound (30kg) mountain lion attacked the boy while he was playing near his house on Thursday in Calabasas and “dragged him about 45 yards” across the front lawn, said Captain Patrick Foy, a spokesman with the California department of fish and wildlife, on Saturday.

The boy suffered significant injuries to his head and upper torso but was in a stable condition at a Los Angeles hospital, Foy said.

“The true hero of this story is his mom because she absolutely saved her son’s life,” Foy said. The mother was inside the house when she heard a commotion outside.

“She ran out of the house and started punching and striking the mountain lion with her bare hands and got him off her son,” he said.

The parents immediately drove the boy to the hospital, where law enforcement were notified of the attack and sent a wildlife officer to the scene.

Another mountain lion spotted in the area was tranquilised and then released into the wild unharmed after being tested to be sure it was not involved in the attack.

Why do they not just kill all of the mountain lions that live around humans?

What even is this?

They’re dangerous animals that can kill humans, and given this stupid virus hoax, with everyone being locked in their houses, wild animals are attacking much more often.

You remember the recent viral bobcat attack?

I think that ended up being in North Carolina.

Some woman in Colorado was just last week attacked by a moose in her yard! The articles about that said moose attacks are much more common now.

The same is true of bear attacks.

At the beginning of this virus hoax, a town in Wales was totally taken over by goats.

Since the beginning of time itself, life has been a battle between man and animal.

The animals are quickly gaining the upper hand and we need to start killing them before they take us over…!

Nah, I’m just joking, actually. I support animals killing humans – I’d like to see more of it.

Speaking of animals, do you guys remember that classic article I wrote about bearcats?

Here it is: California Über Alles: Lady Cop Killed in Mexican Gangland Style Ambush – By a Filipino!

This is the country song I wrote about a bearcat:

He’s a wild one
He shows up on your farm, you’d better hussle
He means to do harm and you’re in for a tussle

He’s delicious if you eat em
But first you gotta beat em


My daddy met a bearcat
When I was only three
He killed my whole darn family
And now there’s only me

He’s a wild one

Someday I’ll find that bearcat
Who did my daddy wrong
I’ll make his hide into a bearhat
If it takes my whole life long



I still hope that some day I get to record that song with a full band in Nashville.

But No, It’s Possible It was a Vaginal Mother

Firstly, this whole thing where you have to ask if a mother is a “vaginal mother” is really just too much.

There is a level of absurdity that we’re dealing with here that almost overrides the sense of anger at all of this nonsense.

However, I just want to say: it is possible for a vaginal woman to gain unnatural strength when her child is in danger. As we all know, one time a woman turned into the Incredible Hulk and flipped over a car to save her son.

Vaginal women can do anything.

And it just goes to follow: a woman with a penis can do anything a vaginal woman can do.

Women really are amazing.