Bretty Gud Florida Man Headline

The latest hijinks:

I think the media is playing up “Florida Man.”

Florida Man seems to be playing himself up as well.

This is an iced tea with like, cheap gin in it or something.

They say Florida Man threatened his boss with it, but it was a fakeout, and he also had a lead pipe in his pocket he was gonna whack the guy with.

The “lead pipe” is one of the weapons in the Game of Clue.

I remember being 7-8 years old and playing it with the family and calling it the “lead pipe” like “lead actor.”

Since, I’ve often thought about how it’s a pretty weird murder weapon. I mean, you’d really have to whack someone a lot of times to cause death with a lead pipe.

But I mean, they needed six weapons for the mechanics of the game to work, and so it involved several things that would require you to really bash someone’s head in good.

I wonder if Florida Man was thinking about this game when he grabbed the lead pipe?

I miss board games. And my family. And my country.