March 16, 2016
RIP Marco 1971-2016
Little Marco Rubio was found dead this morning in a foam-filled Miami hotel room. He was completely naked, except for the foam, which covered the room.
Presently, investigators believe he overdosed on amyl nitrate. Though it is also possible he drowned in the foam.
No, I’m just joking (though this could be a real headline in a couple hours).
He did drop out though, finally.
Good to be rid of this Cuban prick. I would have liked to see some dick jokes in the drop-out speech.
Sorry if the site sucks today, guys. It was a very long night. I’ll be back on my game tomorrow. Scout’s Honor.