BREAKING: Fat Old Skank Struggles with Fertility!

Rebel Wilson, also known as “The Beast of Broadway”

We reported yesterday that an Indian doctor and fertility expert is speaking out against celebrities basically committing public fraud, claiming to have “gotten pregnant” in their late 30s, 40s and 50s, and not stating clearly that they were using frozen eggs or someone else’s eggs.

Today, we have a fat, old woman, who is also a celebrity, who apparently didn’t get the memo that the thing to do is use IVF if you want to get pregnant in your forties.

Huffington Post:

Rebel Wilson spoke out about her ongoing struggles with fertility over the weekend, and the response has been overwhelming.

The “Pitch Perfect” star shared a snapshot Sunday on Instagram with an emotional caption about her journey with fertility.

“I got some bad news today and didn’t have anyone to share it with…but I guess I gotta tell someone,” the 41-year-old wrote. “To all the women out there struggling with fertility, I feel ya. The universe works in mysterious ways and sometimes it all doesn’t make sense…but I hope there’s light about to shine through all the dark clouds.”

Many friends and fans expressed support for Wilson in the comments, including actors Jillian Bell, who sent her “love,” and Alexis Knapp, who shared that she, too, had “been through it.”

This bitch tried to freeze her eggs, but it was apparently already too late. (Now she’s gonna use someone else’s eggs and call it “a miracle,” committing the same fraud we spoke of in the other piece.)

The Australian native has previously opened up about her desire to start a family, sharing with fans last year that she was hoping to freeze her eggs.

Wilson also revealed in an interview with E! Online in November that she has polycystic ovary syndrome, which caused her to gain a lot of weight.

“It’s just a hormone imbalance and you gain a lot of weight usually and that’s how it manifested in me. Sometimes I feel sad, but then at the same time, I worked my body to my advantage. I like being all sizes,” she told the outlet, adding that upon turning 40, she’s become “more health conscious and thinking of starting a family.”

She should’ve started thinking about starting a family over 20 years ago.

The human female (mammalian) body is telling the woman it is sex time when she starts ovulating. This is also when women start to think about men.

Birth control has been a horrible disaster for the human species – not least because white people (and maybe some Asians) are the only ones who use it.

It’s not only abortion that makes it more difficult for a woman to get pregnant later. Other forms of birth control do as well – I’m speaking of the pills, which also probably contributed to this bitch Wilson being such a massive beast of a creature.

We would not be going into total kook world if we suggest that condoms themselves also affect a woman’s ability to get pregnant.

When the woman’s vagina moistens and the penis enters, the brain says to the reproductive system: “EVERYONE TO THEIR STATIONS – WE’VE GOT INCOMING! PREPARE FOR LANDING! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!”

Then, of course, the womb is not hit with sperm, because the sperm goes into a plastic thing.

Once the body is hit with repeated false alarms like this, there is some reason to believe it gets confused.

In the Bible, God gets angry about the pullout method, actually.

Clearly there is context there, and I don’t think we can say God flatly condemns the pullout method necessarily. I don’t want to be a “Bible-Believing Christian” heretic who just makes up whatever I want from Bible verses. But there is reason to believe God is against pulling out. (The Catholic Church has traditionally taught against “seed spilling.”)

IVF is not a panacea. There are various reasons to believe that removing the sperm competition process can very much lead to lesser quality children.

Some women just want to be whores. I get that and it’s fair enough, if that’s their choice. We’ve always had whores with us, and typically, when they get too old, we send them to the nunnery.

However, at the very least, girls should be told: “if you want to have a family, you really need to have that figured out by the time you’re 22 years old.”

They should also be informed that using birth control and getting fat can make them infertile.

Surely, women deserve this information. Refusing to tell them this is effectively a form of censorship.