Joe Biden has released a political ad that would be sure to get Captain Ahab all hot and bothered, if he was still alive.
The latest offering from “Uncle Joe” features a large humanoid white whale (scientific name: Homo Cetartiodactyla Maxima Alba) complaining that it is going to die if Donald Trump is reelected.
The creature explains that coronavirus is Donald Trump’s fault and that her business has collapsed because of Donald Trump. The creature then begins bawling in a disgusting manner, wiping its bloated, absurd face with a pale hand to expose its tattooed wrist.
What is that? It’s a line?
No joke: I think it’s a hair pin. Because it’s a hairstylist. Get it? That tattoo helps the creature to express its identity.
The Biden team has made a direct appeal to sea creatures this cycle. Biden’s own running mate, Kamala Harris, has grown disgusting gills so that she is able to breathe underwater. It can only be assumed that she grew these gills so that she could hit the campaign trail under the sea.
Despite the fact that many on the right have called out Harris for growing gills, and made rude memes about this, she has not responded to accusations of allying with underwater creatures against the American people.
Biden’s recent ad featuring the Homo Cetartiodactyla Maxima Alba seems to confirm that they are going all in on the sea creature vote.
It should be noted that it is totally unconstitutional to allow sea creatures to vote in elections. However, it has been confirmed that all of the creatures of the sea are receiving mail-in ballots, and the election commission has confirmed that they are accepting ballots that are signed in squid ink.
Sea creatures could well spin this election for Biden. Donald Trump is being forced to rely only on the votes of land lubbers.
(Editor’s Note: do you see how these jokes are funny? All of them would be impossible for leftists to make, as they are all dependent on mocking a woman’s appearance, something that you are literally not allowed to do on the left. This is yet another reason that left comedy simply cannot be funny. Their audiences also didn’t read Moby Dick and don’t know basic Latin, because they’ve cultivated a class of classless morons. All leftist comedians are allowed to talk about is poop and obscure pop culture references.)